Extended breastfeeding on the rise, but still "closeted."

An interesting article in the Boston Globe last week described an increase in the number of women who are breastfeeding beyond the first year.  The Globe reported:

"In 1997, 14.5 percent of mothers were still breast-feeding at 12 months; by 2005, the number had climbed to 20 percent.

No one keeps count beyond 18 months, not even La Leche League International, a lactation support system. Katherine Dettwyler, the nation's leading breast-feeding researcher, says women who continue to nurse typically keep quiet about it, sometimes even to family members, because the culture is so biased against it...

'We call these women 'closet nursers,' ' says Dr. Ruth Lawrence, a pediatrician who specializes in infant nutrition at the University of Rochester. Lawrence, who chairs the American Academy of Pediatrics' section on breast-feeding, [and] helped write the academy's 2005 position statement that reaffirms breast-feeding for at least a year and "beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child." The World Health Organization's recommendation, adopted in 1979, is for a minimum of two years."

I remember the pressure I felt to keep nursing "private" after a certain point.  I've certainly had nursing mothers tell me that they lie to their family members and even doctors about the fact that they're still nursing.   

I use the picture above in my breastfeeding classes, and twice I've been asked by expecting parents, "Um, how old is that child?  That doesn't look like a baby to me."

How about you?  Have you ever lied about how long you breastfed?  If you felt pressure to stop, how did you deal with it?

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Comments

[Tanya Lieberman]

Comment sent by email:

My son is not 11 months old, so we are not technically past that 12 month mark, but I see no reason why we won't continue to breastfeed. My son has started drinking out of a cup at day care, and once he is 12 months old and has mastered a cup we will try cows milk in a cup during the day. Although breastfeeding is going well, despite him being a walker and having teeth, he doesn't nurse well during the middle of the day any more (especially when out and about), he is just too interested in everything else. But night time breastfeeding is still a must as far as he is concerned and I plan on letting hem breastfeed until he is ready to stop.

I have been asked by many different people (including family), when I will start weaning my son. My answer is simple: when he decides he is ready. I get some follow up questions sometimes, but I have noticed by making my answer definitive I receive fewer questions. I wonder what the doctor will think though. Both of my children are small (my 2 year old is 21 lbs. and my 11 month old is 17 lbs.), and when my daughter was one she started drinking Pedia-Sure instead of formula or milk. Pedia-Sure is kind of like a milk shake and contains a lot of calories. I was already asked to add formula powder to my sons breastmilk bottles for day care (to get him more calories), I refused. But, our pediatrician has moved and now we have a new pediatrician and we shale see what she thinks when my son goes to his one year well visit and is under 18 lbs.

As of now I have no plans to lie to anyone about my breastfeeding. I love the special bond my son and I have and I don't want to have to hide it.

I also don't know why I would stop. After all that work in the first 3 months to become successful at breastfeeding, why stop now?

[Stephanie (Adventures in Babywearing)]

Gray just turned 18 months and we are still nursing strong. I think now more than ever I am more at ease with nursing in front of people, and nurse in front of family (discreetly of course!) and no one ever says a word. They know how important it is to me. If I were to be confronted negatively about it, I am confident and outspoken enough to stand up for myself and my beliefs on the matter. I know many women aren't like this in public or with their families. It might just depend on the mom's personality in some cases. Also, nursing is still Gray's main food source! He has food allergies, and this truly is the BEST thing for him.

Just yesterday I was cherishing the moment while nursing my toddler- I can't imagine missing out on that time! We both enjoy it so much!

Steph

[onetinkerbell]

When I was nursing Maeve, I continued to nurse her until she was not quite 26 months old. At that point it was mostly her way of waking up in the morning, falling asleep to take a nap and falling asleep at bedtime. But we also nurse when she fell down and got hurt or something like that. Nobody in my family ever asked me when I would stop (except maybe my husband and then it was just to see what my plans were) and I would have said that I was going to stop when Maeve was ready. My mother was very supportive of my decision to continue until Maeve weaned herself - she nursed my brother until he was past 3 years old and if you think it's not really socially acceptable now you should have seen her back in 1978 when my brother was 3!

Honestly I think that it's no big deal to nurse past a year, although I sometimes wonder why anyone would nurse past 3 or 4, even though there are those that do. I'd never lie about breastfeeding because it's really nobody's business how long I nurse my child as long as she's happy, healthy and well-adjusted. Additionally, the reason that it isn't accepted is because people don't talk about it or nurse their toddlers in public. The more of us that continue to nurse past the one year mark and talk about it, the more accepted it will become.

With Gwyneth I plan to nurse as long as she wants to and at 4 months she's still an eager nurser and screams if I make her burp while switching sides. I can't imagine people asking someone to add formula to breastmilk, simply because not all kids grow at the same weight. Gwyneth is small for her age, too. This week she had her 4 month well baby visit and weighs only 11.25 lbs and is 59 cm long (23.23 inches). Everyone says she's little but the doctor isn't concerned because she's proportionate. He told me "she's petite and that's ok". I agreed because she was tiny was she was born. Weight and height aren't necessarily indicators of healthy or unhealthy babies; there are other factors to consider, too. I'd rather have her be petite than overweight as so many children in the US are.

As a side note: there is an interesting article in Parents magazine about the variety of heights, weights and abilities that children have at the same age. If anyone has a doctor questioning their baby's weight for his/her age, I recommend showing this article. It's proof that every child grows at his or her own rate.

[fraleigh]

My son turned 18 months old this week and we're still breastfeeding. I'm trying to eliminate the middle of the night feedings and just continue nursing before bed.

Not sure when we'll completely wean - at this point I'm planning on letting him lead, but we'll see how things are going after he's 2.

The hardest part for me was that I still needed to pump at work until my son was 15 months old (he had a dairy allergy for a while). I wasn't very comfortable advertising to my co-workers that I was still nursing.

Some people I know have advised me to wean as a means of helping my son learn to sleep through the night. We are trying to night wean, but shouldn't need to completely wean to do that.

[Jill P]

I nursed my son until he was 14 months old, and would gladly have continued if he hadn't decided he'd had enough. He never missed it, but I did. My daughter is now 6 months old and nursing happily.

In my experience with weaning and potty training, waiting until my son was ready made it easy and enjoyable. Nursing for me was always an easy decision. I see no reason to ask my daughter to give up something that's good for her, even after she turns one.

[RCM]

My family soon accepted me nursing my daughter, mainly because that was all she did all day long :) It was people at Church who were surprised and stunned when she was 20 months and wanting to nurse. I answered their questions and would always say "We have not even reached the minimum 2 yr mark yet." I always looked at it as an opportunity to educate people. Sadly, my daughter chose to wean at 20 months so I no longer receive those comments.

[Colleen Newman]

Since Claire only nurses in the wee early morning, I am not a NIP Mama anymore. Don't get me wrong, if she asked, I would nurse her. I don't broadcast it IRL but on the internet I am not shy about saying I am still BFing my 25 month old. In fact I feel very supported in the WWW. If it comes up with family and friends I certainly don't deny it, but it doesn't usually come up in normal conversation.

[Tanya Lieberman]

Colleen -

...and if it did come up you'd say "pass the bean dip," right? :)

- Tanya

[jteamsmom]

Jenna just turned 12 months two weeks ago and our nursing relationship is still going strong. (Big brother James nursed to 17 months). Over the holiday weekend, I ended up in the ER with a kidney stone. The MD on call said he was going to prescribe a painkiller if I needed it, and when I mentioned I'm still nursing, he said "How old is your daughter?". When I told him, he said "You're STILL nursing her?". My very large husband gave him a look that said "Don't even go there with her" and the doctor just smiled and said "you can take Advil or Aleve if you need it, I don't want to prescribe a narcotic for you."

It was just funny that even in a hospital known in our area for their incredible support for breastfeeding, a doctor would say "you're STILL breastfeeding?"

I'm looking forward to a flight on JetBlue next week to see if we get any comments. Yes, I've turned into THAT kind of nursing mom. ;-)

[Tanya Lieberman]

Jteamsmom,

Oh, how I wish that we all had very large husbands who would shoot those kinds of looks!

And as I would hope your doctor knows, the American Academy of Pediatrics says "It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired."

Perhaps your doctor would appreciate seeing the AAP policy in writing:

http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics%3b100/6/1035

And maybe your husband could deliver it! :)

Tanya

[Meghana]

I have a 8 month old son who I am nursing. I thought it was pretty common to nurse until 12 months until I heard someone at work say "You are STILL nursing???" I have to pump at work and so most colleagues know I am still breastfeeding.

I am glad to have found so many other people who have nursed their babies long term. I really want to do it until my baby says No. But I am working full time and am concerned about keeping my supply up. I usually pump twice at work and go home during lunch to feed my l'il sweetie.
Any working moms there who would like to share any tips?

[Becca]

My daughter is 15mths now and loves nursing..we have no intention of stopping anytime soon-I`ll leave it up to her to decide. Here in Japan extended breastfeeding is common but some health professionals seem to be very ill-informed. I was told it would be bad for my baby`s teeth to breastfeed at night! What rot!