The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog

What would you do if you were harassed for nursing in public?

Ever wonder what you would do if you were harassed for nursing in public?  I do.  I wonder if I'd have the courage to contact the press, or even organize a nurse-in if I felt it were necessary.  Even calling to complain to a large institution can seem scary.

Kat, a mother of six and doula who lives in Wisconsin, faced that question last week.  She was nursing her 4 month old son Nathan at her local hospital, when she was bullied by hospital staff.  Monica, a reader who saw her story on a discussion board, emailed me to let me know about it. 

Her story is below.  After you read it, tell us what you would do in a such a situation by voting in the poll below or leaving a comment.

"Last week I went to my local hospital to have a CAT scan with my 4 month old son Nathan, my four year old, and my husband.  Nathan was hungry when we arrived at the hospital so I decided I'd nurse him before the scan.  I wrapped a blanket under my arm and my son to cover any exposed skin on my side and tucked my shirt down around his mouth to prevent exposure.  I walked into the hospital and checked in at the radiology department, still nursing him.

The woman behind the counter, named Connie, took me and my son to a registration room signed some paperwork.  While I was in there the telephone rang and the registrar (another woman) answered it.  She hung up and told me that I could just stay there in her office for a few minutes and then Connie would be in to get me, which I thought at the time was just the standard way it was done. 

A couple of minutes later Connie returned and told me to come with her.  I was then told we were being taken to a private room, which I thought was a nice gesture.  I followed her with my husband and four year old.  There was a man in front of Connie leading us out whom I later learned was the radiology director. 

I was still nursing Nathan as we walked into the hall.  Connie and the radiology director came to an abrupt stop in front of me, and he said, 'There's people down there.'  They told me they were taking me to a private room but we would pass people along the way.  I said 'I don't mind,' and took one step forward.  I was interrupted by 'but other people do,' and they both stepped closer to me not allowing me to move further.  I was dumbfounded. 

The radiology director then asked if I would like a blanket and I politely declined, stating that I wouldn't like to eat with a blanket over my head and neither did my son.  He again stated that other patients might be bothered.  I said 'breastfeeding is natural' and he agreed with me and started to say 'but...'  I asked him if he could see anything and he replied 'no.'

I started to tear up and Connie reached over and placed her hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture.  The radiology director took a step forward, pushed her hand down and held her arm down gently while he fully stepped in front of her.  He was mere inches from me by this time and I began to feel threatened and intimidated. 

I then asked what the problem was, and he said 'other patients.'  I said 'But if you can't see anything...'  I was very uncomfortable with this man inches from me in my personal space and was now pretty much sobbing.  I felt very trapped so I stated 'I'm just going to leave and go get my test somewhere else.'  He responded 'Well, that's your right.'  Connie stepped back a bit and allowed me to exit the area, my husband and son followed.

My husband, who had been in the waiting room, said that as far as he could see no patients complained, and since I was only in the waiting area for a few seconds, no one could have seen anyway.  I finished nursing Nathan in the car and then we went to the main hospital entrance to make a complaint.  We got to talk to two people from the hospital who offered thier apologies but of course were neutral on the whole thing, and I doubt anything will happen.  My husband and I are seriously considering hiring an attorney.  I'm very fearful to nurse my baby outside my house after this.  It was very frightening and now my 4 year old keeps asking 'Mommy what did you do wrong at the doctor's?'" 

You can read about what happened next by watching this video.  (Check out what the hospital communications guy says!) You can also read Kat's blog for more on the story.  In case you're wondering, Wisconsin law exempts breastfeeding from the public indecency statutes, but that's it.  Fortunately, new legislation is under review now. 

So, vote in the poll below (may take a few seconds to load, refresh the page if it doesn't).

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Motherwear's annual truckload sale. Road trip!

I just found out about this:  Motherwear is having its annual truckload sale this Friday and Saturday in Northampton, Massachusetts.

If you are a Motherwear fan and live anywhere in New England this is an event worth the drive.  Here are the details:

• When:  Friday and Saturday, June 1-2, 2007, 9 am to 5 pm
• Where:  Clarion Hotel, 1 Atwood Drive, Northampton, MA
• What:  Tons of deals.  Everything under $15, with all nursing bras under $3. These are seconds, discontinued items, and overstock items at incredible prices. 

Last year's sale was fantastic, if not a little crazy.  I know women who left with an entire nursing wardrobe for under $100.

Make a day of it and explore downtown Northampton (my adopted home)!  Maybe I'll see you there...

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Motherwear's summer line is here.

What does it mean when you really want to buy nursing clothes when you're not nursing anymore? 

There are so many cute new designs in the Motherwear summer catalog.  I posted my favorite items here, but there are plenty more available now.  You can now order your summer catalog and get $5 off your first order. 

My absolute favorite is the beaded empire tunic to the left.  Next is the baby doll ruffled top to the right.  And then I want the Sonoma baby doll dress below to the left. 

For nursing nightwear my pick is the pink nightgown to the right.  It's made with a new green fabric made from corn.  Motherwear is also featuring some items made with bamboo blend fabrics. 

The new La Leche League International Intimate Apparel line, which I wrote about a few weeks ago, is available on the website and in the catalog.  In addition, the T-back sports bra to the left looks like a winner.

As you probably know, these models - Stacy, Sagine, and Natasha - are nursing moms, too.  You can read what they told me about their breastfeeding experiences earlier this year.

There's a lot more to check out from the summer line, including some great new swimsuits and lots of new nursing accessories.  Happy shopping!

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Join the next Breastfeeding Carnival: Dads and breastfeeding.

June 17th is Father's Day, and for this month's Carnival of Breastfeeding we've chosen the theme "Dads and Breastfeeding." 

Want to write about how your baby's father impacted your breastfeeding experience?  Better yet, would he be willing to write it up for your blog? 

If you have a blog and are interested in participating, send your submission to me by June 5th.  We'll send it around to our usual cast of bloggers for approval.  The Carnival will be held on June 12th.  We'll be looking for:

• Posts that are well written and grammatically correct
• Writing that is thoughtful and on topic
• Posts from blogs that are on topics that are of interest to readers of breastfeeding blogs (parenting, breastfeeding, etc.)

You can see examples of past carnival posts under the category "Carnivals of Breastfeeding." 

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Check out Motherwear's new nursing accessories.

Earlier this spring I had the honor of helping Motherwear pick a few new products to add to its accessories line for the summer catalog.  It was great - I got to poll nursing moms I knew, and do a little pretend shopping.  Things have changed a lot since I had my son just a few years ago (the slings, especially, have gotten so much cuter, and the pumps have also improved quite a bit).  Be sure to check out these and other new items in the accessories section of the Motherwear site and soon in the new catalog. 

If there is an "it" sling in my moms groups it's the HotSling.  It's compact, great for nursing, and of course really cute.  I think that many moms are tempted to buy several.  The patterned one to the left is the designer model (available in several patterns), and you'll also find everyday slings basic black and khaki.  There's even a "pool pouch" for wearing in the water!

I'm very happy that Motherwear is now carrying Medela's Swing breastpump.  This is the one I recommend for moms who are planning to work part time or are planning to be at home but want a good pump for an occasional bottle.  This pump is a huge improvement over past Medela single electric pumps.  The cycling speed and automatic let down mode make it more gentle and effective, and the whole thing is really compact and has a nice design.

Motherwear is also now carrying the perennial favorite Boppy pillow, which can be used for nursing and also for baby play.  It's been redesigned with a "miracle middle" to fit all waist sizes.  Several cute covers, too.  One is shown to the left.

To the right are Soothies, a popular product for speeding healing of sore nipples.  A lot of mothers I know swear by these.  If there is already damage to the skin of the nipples these can help.  But remember:  If breastfeeding hurts, get help quickly.  The remedy for pain is usually fixing the latch.  In the meantime, while you're healing, these are a often a nice product to have.  Got it?

Another useful product for relieving engorgement (and a more sophisticated option than frozen peas) are Bust Buddies cool/hot packs, to the left.  You can use them cold to relieve swelling from engorgement, warm to help get milk flowing before feeding or pumping when engorged, or warm to clear a plugged area. 

To the right is a product I'd never seen before - a Kushies nursing pad case.  It's for those times when you're at work or out in public and can't just fling your wet pads in the general direction of the laundry basket.  This would have been a big improvement over the plastic shopping bag I used to stuff in my purse.  They're even available in different colors.

Motherwear is also now carrying two products from Earth Mama Angel Baby:  Organic Natural Nipple Butter and Bosom Buddies herbal blend.  Bosom Buddies comes with a reusable muslin bag for making a poultice.  Again, nipple creams are great for healing if damage has been done, but to really fix the problem, get experienced help as soon as possible, okay?

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What did you see on your walk?

As many of you know, I'm one of almost 70 people trying to complete the WOMAN Challenge.  We're trying to do some kind of exercise every day for 8 weeks.  Check out the photo album of our team, the Breastfeeding Babes!

Last week I posted some pictures of my walking route.  Amanda, who lives in New York, sent me these pictures of what she and her happy son Sam saw on their walk.

Want to show us what you see on your walks?  Email me some pictures.  In the meantime, I tag Karen at Cairo Mama (who I think is now in Virginia?), Angela at Breastfeeding 123, and Jen at The Lactivist to show us their routes.

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Photo exhibit opportunities for California and New England nursing moms.

California moms:  Rachel Valley, a photographer and nursing mom contacted me recently in search of nursing mothers in California.  She recently received a grant to put together a gallery of breastfeeding photographs, and is seeking nursing mothers to photograph.  The exhibit will start in California in August and travel after that.

If you're interested in being part of the exhibit, contact Rachel Valley.  She's looking for nursing mothers, especially those with stories to tell about breastfeeding and nursing in public.  In exchange for your time she'll give you copies of the photographs she takes.  You can see her website here.

New England moms:  The World Breastfeeding Week Art Show in Brattleboro, Vermont is seeking photographs for the annual Art of Breastfeeding show at Amy's Bakery Arts in August.  I'm late in announcing this, but there is still time to submit a photo in person on Thursday, May 24th between 1-5 pm at the Catherine Dianich Gruver Gallery, 139 Main Street, Brattleboro, Vermont.  For questions, contact Catherine.

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Book review: The Milk Memos (and your chance to win a copy).

(The review copy of The Milk Memos is mine, mine, mine, but I have one copy to give away.  See below for details on how to win it.)

The Milk Memos started with this note, written through tears on a paper towel in the lactation room at IBM:

"I'm a new mom and this is my first day back at work.  Is anyone else using this room?"

There were indeed other moms using the room, and the paper towel was soon replaced by a notebook, and the notebook turned into a chronicle of several women's journey through working/pumping motherhood.  The lactation room, actually a cold, cinder block-walled janitor's closet, became a cross between a new mom's support group and a confessional.

Before I finished reading the introduction I knew that this is one of the very few books I would recommend to a new mother.  By the last page I was actually teary-eyed and and wanted badly to hug the women who put together this wonderful book.  I can say with certainty that no other breastfeeding book I've read has elicited that kind of reaction.

I connected so immediately with the mothers in this book because I too was once a working/pumping mom.  After my maternity leave I returned to work at the Education Committee of the California State Senate.  I ran my pump through the x-ray machine every morning at the State Capitol.  (I found quickly that if you say, loudly, "it's a breastpump," you get moved through pretty quickly).  My husband took a year's leave from teaching to stay home with our son. 

The Milk Memos is half group diary and half manual for the working/pumping mom.  The authors have clearly done their homework, and I found their advice sound and thorough.  They cover breastfeeding and pumping, of course, but also child care, sleep, and other issues common to all working mothers.

I read this book with two hats on - one the working/pumping mother, and the other the lactation consultant who teaches classes on breastfeeding and working.  At times I wanted to call up the moms to offer advice ("You don't need to sterilize your pump parts every day!"  "No, adding rice cereal to a bottle doesn't help them sleep longer!").  But reading the journal entries in this book reminded me that women have a way of helping each other sort through these things, and sometimes it's much better when the "experts" just back off.

The Milk Memos also makes it clear that the kind of employment you have makes a huge difference in your ability to continue providing breastmilk to your baby.  The professional level moms in the book have some flexibility in their schedules.  The administrative staff have to dash between buildings to the lactation room and try to fit pumping into a 10 minute break while someone else covers the phones.

Any working/pumping mother will relate to these stories - and since pumping at work can be a pretty isolating experience, that connection is priceless.  Stories of bottle strikes, supply problems, bad pumps - this book has got it all, told in graphic and often hilarious detail.  Consider this journal entry:

You're not going to believe what happened to me this morning!  I was in a team meeting because I'm the official note-taker.  The meeting went on and on, and I kept hoping for a break, knowing I needed to pump.  My boss whispered to me, "I think you're leaking."  I was mortified.  There were nine people in the room, and there were two wet circles on my shirt.  One woman handed me some tissues.  At first I thought that she wanted me to dab my shirt - as if that would help.  Then she motioned to me that I should stuff them into my bra.  Like I'm going to reach inside my shirt right there at the conference table!  But I couldn't just get up and leave (God forbid - not with my boss)...All I wanted to do was pump, which totally made the leaking worse!  By the time the meeting ended the small circles were big bull's eyes!  Hope your day is going better than mine!

How can you not love these women?  Buy the book.

I have copy of The Milk Memos to give away to a mom who is working/pumping now, or will be working/pumping soon.  If that's you, send me an email with your name and your place of employment by 5:00 pm EST on Thursday, May 24th.  I'll do a little drawing to pick a winner.  U.S. addresses only, please.

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A personal update.

It's been a while since I wrote about what's happening with me and my family, so here goes:

April is always a busy month for us.  We had two birthdays, our anniversary, my parents visiting, Passover, and the frenzy of activity that happens here when the cold weather lifts.  May has been less busy, and the weather and the Woman Challenge have meant more time outdoors.

A few weeks ago, on the way to some friends' house for dinner, we were in a car accident.  Everyone was fine.  Then, while at our friends' house, my son fell off of a piano bench and hit his head hard on a baseboard heater.  I had been worried that he would be a little traumatized by the car accident, but the piano bench episode seems to have made a bigger impression. Our car had a big owee and a few days ago we got a used Prius to take its place. I've been eyeing that car since they came out here, so I'm very excited to be driving one. 

Above is a picture of the awesome moms in a hospital-based mothers' group I "run."  It's one of those things you can't believe you get paid to do.  I'm third from the right, holding baby Tabitha who is eating my ID badge.

Professionally I feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads.  I really enjoy the work I do, and I'm so fortunate to have lots of opportunities to do it.  Jobs can be pretty scarce in this field.  I'm realizing that working with mothers in the community is much more satisfying to me than working in a hospital setting, and that the very small private practice I have (and don't advertise) sometimes makes me feel like I'm on call all the time.  So I may stop taking private clients for a little while and see how that goes.

To the right is a picture of my son at the groundbreaking for a new food co-op here.  At the event, coincidentally, there was a quilt from the co-op in our old home town!  Soon the CSA farm where we are members will open and we'll have lots of flowers and fresh produce around.  I'll post pictures when it's open for the season.  Living in New England has taught me what the big deal is about Spring!

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"Formula for Disaster."

In the early 1990's I lived in the Philippines for a year. I loved it. It's a gorgeous, diverse country, and I made some wonderful friends.

It's also a battleground in the fight against aggressive marketing practices used by pharmeceutical companies to promote formula in developing countries. A new film by UNICEF Philippines called "Formula for Disaster" tackles this topic. The film is broken into five parts on YouTube, and I linked to the third part.

In most developing countries there is a strong culture of support for breastfeeding. But in the Philippines that tradition is falling apart. According to the WHO, the length of exclusive breastfeeding has declined from an average of 1.4 months in 1998 to just 24 days in 2003. Only 16% of babies are exclusively breastfed for 4-5 months.

Here in the U.S., where the question of "breast vs. bottle" is framed in terms of choice, we tend to forget that in the developing world, where water supplies are often contaminated, infant feeding is often a question of life or death. The WHO says that in the Philippines 16,000 child deaths per year are attributable to inappropriate feeding, including the used of infant formula.

The Philippines has a "milk code" which prohibits aggressive marketing practices, but violations are rampant. And recent efforts to strengthen the code were met with opposition from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. You may recognize a few of the tactics because they're used here, too.

"Formula for Disaster" is part of a multi-pronged effort to "restore the breastfeeding culture" in the Philippines, which includes creating "breastfeeding friendly malls" and the recent record setting national nurse in.

Thanks to blog reader Alexis, who works at UNICEF Philippines and keeps a personal blog on breastfeeding in the Philippines, for alerting me to the new film!