The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog

Dads, take off your shirts.

Here's another Father's Day breastfeeding story for you:

My son was born by c-section a little over four years ago.  He had low oxygen levels at birth, and was whisked off to the nursery after the birth.  My husband went with him while my doula stayed behind with me.

Later I found out that when my husband got to the nursery he took off his shirt and held our son skin to (hairy) skin.  The nurses, wonderful as they were, had to have been rolling their eyes when they saw this. 

But it turns out that he was doing the best possible thing!  A study released this week suggests that when fathers hold their babies skin to skin after the mother has a cesarean birth babies are calmed and show nursing reflexes. 

In a study of 29 father-infant pairs, full-term healthy newborns born by planned cesarean section were randomized to be placed either skin-to-skin on their father’s chest or beside their father in a crib. The infants in the skin-to-skin group stopped crying and were more calm compared to infants in the crib group. A father should therefore be regarded as the primary caregiver for the baby when a mother is not available immediately following a birth.

Skin-to-skin contact between a father and baby also facilitates the newborn’s “pre-feeding behavior” of seeking the breast within the first hours of life. “The development of inborn nursing reflexes, such as mouth movements and rooting, is similar to that of infants that are skin-to-skin with the mother,” says Erlandsson. “This makes the child fully prepared for the first breastfeeding when being reunited with the mother.”

What this means is that when the mother can't hold the baby skin to skin right after the birth, dads should be ready to rip their shirts off.  And from the description above they shouldn't be surprised if they try to latch on!

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Wordless Wednesday: At the farm.

The Seventh Carnival of Breastfeeding: Dads and Breastfeeding

Welcome to the seventh Carnival of Breastfeeding!  This month, in honor of Father's Day, we bring you posts on the theme of Dads and Breastfeeding.

My contribution was written by a friend and father of six month old Tai.  Minh and his wife Kathy took my breastfeeding class, and after the class Minh emailed me to say, "Ever since we took your class I've been saying things like, 'If Mike Tyson and breastmilk were in a fight, breastmilk would win.'"  How can you not love a dad like that?

Below you'll find great posts from other bloggers -including several written by dads - on this topic.  Enjoy!

I am proud to be the father of a breastfed baby.

Recently, one of my aunts said, "This fat baby needs to be in advertisements to illustrate the benefits of breastmilk."  I know that we all like to think of our kids as exceptional, but I have to boast for a minute.  Our baby tripled in size in the first two months, from 5 lbs to 15 lbs, on breastmilk alone.  I like to tell my wife that she doesn't have breastmilk but rather 'breast half-and-half.'  How else can you explain the size explosion in my son?

Although my wife is the one making the milk that nourishes my baby, I've done as much as I can to support her along the way.  For me, my role as the dad of breastfed baby can be broken into three stages:

Weeks 0-3:  Sleep?  What's sleep?

During the first few weeks I became a taskmaster and did things I rarely did before (dishes, laundry, walking the dog, etc.).  Maybe this was to make up for the fact that I hadn't just pushed a baby out of my body.  While I kept the household running, my wife could concentrate on resting, recovering, and feeding our son.

In those early days my wife and I were sleep-deprived zombies.  I got up with her each time the baby ate at night, offering to help by pouring her a glass of water, helping to position the baby correctly, or changing a dirty diaper after the feeding.  It was exhausting.

During the day I helped with all the no-boob-required baby care.  I burped him, changed his diaper, swaddled him, bathed him, etc.  Not only did this give my wife a chance to rest between feedings, but it gave me wonderful opportunities to bond with my baby.

Weeks 3-12:  The Fun Part

Now, I don't think that fatherhood needs to involve feeding, but it has been a big part of my experience.  I love it.  Feeding the baby is a bonding experience like no other.  Despite our worries about causing nipple confusion, when we introduced the bottle at around three weeks it worked like a charm.

Shortly thereafter we established a schedule to get my wife as much rest in one stretch as possible.  Having always been a night owl, and being truly impossible to wake once I am asleep, I volunteered for the night shift between 8pm and 2am.  This time (for us) usually involved two feedings and a diaper change.  The baby mostly just slept on me while I watched TV in the living room.  When he was ready for his 2 am feeding and if I was out of breastmilk, I would bring the baby to mom with Boppy in hand.  I swear, if my wife got 6 hours of solid sleep in, she could take over the world.  She maintains that the extra sleep she got as a result of this arrangement was key to our success in breastfeeding (and in surviving).

As you know, fathers are not "equipped" with the correct tools to breastfeed, so you have to buy some tools to have a pleasant feeding experience.  Or maybe this is just an excuse to go out and buy new stuff.  Either way, these are the items that I recommend:

1. Boppy - Everyone in our house has one...including the baby.  These are a must-have.  They make everyone comfortable, and make it possible to feed with just one hand.  This leaves the other hand free for the TV remote or one-handed typing of emails.  I mean, yes my son is beautiful and a joy to be with, but he's not interesting enough to stare at for six hours when he was mostly just sleeping.  Incidentally, my wife no longer uses her Boppy (the baby is bigger and needs less assistance to latch on) but I still use mine on occasion as an enormous neck pillow.
2. Miracle Blanket - Affectionately referred to in our house as the baby straight jacket.  This little beauty is a swaddling blanket of sorts that is used to pin down the flailing appendages which can get in the way of peaceful feeding.  It was also huge in getting him to sleep for extended periods of time.
3. Beer Pint- You need to warm up the milk bottles in some kind of container.  It might as well be remotely masculine.
4. Bottles - The Avent four ounce bottles with a #1 nipple are the first ones we tried.  It worked, so we've been using them ever since.
5. Burp cloths - Cloth diapers work perfectly for wiping spit up off yourself, the baby, the remote, the laptop, the dog, etc.  They also wipe salsa spilled on babies better than anything else I've used.

Weeks 12-present:  Pumping Galore

For us, this is where there was a real transition.  The baby now sleeps for longer stretches of time, so my two feedings between 8 pm and 2 am have pretty much disappeared.  My wife is now back to work part time, which means she's pumping all the time to have milk to send to daycare with our son.  I don't want to make her have to pump any more than she already does, so I don't give bottles that often these days.  Although I miss our nightly feedings, I do still give at least one bottle a week.  My new feeding shift is Sunday mornings, 6 am to 10 am. 

Even though I'm now doing less feeding (and a lot less dishes and laundry!) I am still actively supporting my wife by organizing and freezing the milk she pumps (see picture above), asking her how pumping is going, seeking out advice when problems arise, and simply cheering her on.

Nursing in public

Now this is all well and good inside of the home.  A whole 'nother ball of wax is breastfeeding outside the home.  Honestly, I am proud to be seen with my wife when she nurses in public.  I know it can sometimes make others uneasy to see a woman nurse in public, but I hope that when they see how comfortable I am with it they will feel more at ease.  It doesn't even faze me anymore when my wife's nipple makes an appearance while we're out to dinner at a nice restaurant, or in a coffee shop, or at Costco.

Simply put, the whole experience of breastfeeding has been such a joy for all the members of this household.  I'm really not even that bitter that my wife's breasts, which were once a great source of fun for me, have turned into the only meal ticket in town for the baby.  It's a small price to pay and as the father of a breastfed baby, I thank my wife (and all breastfeeding moms) for doing such an important job.

Check out what these other bloggers have to say about Dads and Breastfeeding here:

• Leisa at Down with the Kids (writing from Australia) contributes "Mothers' Milk:  A Dad's Perspective."
• Angela at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 contributes "A Father's Take on Breastfeeding:  Perception Versus Reality"
• Kelli at Nursing Your Kids writes about the "Partnership" involved in breastfeeding.
• Jessica at hepatitis-epi contributes her story about "Fathers and Breastfeeding."
• Amy at Musings of a Crunchy Domestic Goddess contributes, "My Hubby, the Lactivist."
• Sinead, writing from Northern Ireland, writes "My Hubby, my Best Breastfeeding Buddy."
• Andi at Mama Knows breast contributes, "My Husband, My Co-Author."
• Jennifer at The Lactivist writes about "Fathers and Breastfeeding - The Importance of Seconds."

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Planning a World Breastfeeding Week event?

World Breastfeeding Week is August 1-7.  This year's theme is "Breastfeeding:  The First Hour - Save One Million Babies!"

Are you planning a World Breastfeeding Week event you'd like to publicize?  Looking for artwork or photography submissions for a show?  Let me know by email or by leaving a comment below, and I'll post it on the blog. 

You can see a growing list of events already planned in the U.S. on the La Leche League website, and find materials for setting up your own event.  You can also promote your event on the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action website where you can  see the winners of their 2007 photo contest and download materials for your event.

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Hooray! My dream job.

I'm so very, very excited to announce this!  As of June 20th, I'll be running a breastfeeding support group at one of our local pediatric practices here in Western Massachusetts - Northampton Area Pediatrics.

Okay, I know you live in Wisconsin.  Bear with me.

I've been wanting for a while to run a breastfeeding support group.  Not a clinic, like I ran before, but a breastfeeding group.  Clinic work and appointments are great for urgent concerns, but they don't work quite as well for moms who might not be having a meltdown, but could really use a once a week time when they get some breastfeeding help, see other breastfeeding moms, chat about whatever (sleep and slings, I betcha), maybe weigh their baby (maybe not).  I really believe that this can keep breastfeeding going.

So, I was so happy when NAP said that they were interested.  This is where we take our son, and I've been so pleased at how receptive the practice has been to the idea of providing support for breastfeeding moms.  The big benefit to me is being able to work just a little more closely with pediatricians.  Breastfeeding work can be pretty isolating, even in hospitals.

I ususally have donated Motherwear clothes and bras to give away (thanks, Motherwear!) and I'd love to find a way to provide baby t-shirts like this awesome doctor (click on "breastfeeding" and "gallery of fame"), who gives each mother a "Got Breastmilk" t-shirt for their baby if they make it to one year.

So, for those of you in my area (that means you, Ruby, Deborah, Susan, Angela, Kathy, Joan, and my other friends whose names are not coming to me at as I write this at 1:00 am!), here's the scoop:  Starting June 20th, every Wednesday morning, from 10-11:30, at the Amherst office of NAP.  For babies up to one year old.  Free, no registration, partners welcome.  Here's a flyer with all the information.  Please spread the word!

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Ready to fly.

I haven't mentioned this before, but my husband and I have been thinking a lot - and growing increasingly concerned about - my son's ability to socialize with his peers.  He's a happy, lively boy at home and with adults and older children, but he's been really hesitant to engage with kids at his preschool.  He's often on the outside of the gaggle of kids, watching but not participating.

Now, some of this I can understand.  It's not easy to be in a group when your developmental age is characterized by taking toys, tantrums, and spilling juice.  But his hesitancy has been worrying us, and we've been on the verge of seeking a professional opinion.

The trouble is, I can completely relate.  I hated preschool, and some of my earlier memories are of faking ear aches in order to get out of going.  My mom says that one day she dropped me off, returned to the car, and found me sitting in the back seat.  My strongest memories of preschool are 1) getting sand in my underpants, and 2) building, by myself, a very, very long train.  It's pretty clear that my son is, like me, an introvert. 

The challenge for me is figuring out when his behavior is simply a reflection of his true nature (a good thing), and when it's limiting him from doing things he wants to do (a bad thing).  As someone who has spent a lot of time trying to force herself to act in ways that don't reflect her nature, I don't want to push too hard, or shame him for being who he is.  But recently we've become more convinced that, while he does want to engage with his peers, fear is holding him back.

Until the last couple of weeks.  Suddenly he's playing, albeit timidly, with the other kids.  He's requesting playdates, and actually playing when we have them.  And to my delight, this week his teachers told me that when another boy asked him to play "power hawks" (which consists of running around the play yard with outstretched arms), he agreed.  He's never done anything like that before.  He did a demonstration of power hawks for us a few nights ago, and as he made loops around the first floor of our house, his arms alternately flapping and gliding, it hit me that he is growing, at his own pace, into a separate person.   

Last night my son called his grandmother who lives in California, and she told him a bedtime story over the phone.  She said that last week she discovered a bird's nest in a tree in her yard, and she watched as the mother bird fed the babies worms she had caught.  "Did the baby birds fly?" my son asked.  "No," his grandmother said, "they weren't ready yet."  A few days later, his grandmother said, she checked the nest again, and it was empty.  The birds had flown.

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Eight things you don't know about me.

Well, I'm flattered.  First, Sinead at Breastfeeding Mums, then Micky at Mocha Milk, then Jana at Sidetrackd, and now Jen at The Lactivist want me to tell you about myself.  And the list keeps getting longer - from 5 to 7 and now 8 things.

1)  I'm short - 5 foot 1 inch on a good day.  I was so small as a child that my pediatrician had my wrist x-rayed to see if I was going to be a midget.  Of course, he probably didn't have these growth charts.

2)  I have shot both an AK-47 and an M-16 (not at anyone), and I've served in several U.N. peackeeping missions.

3)  I'm half Japanese American and half Jewish.  My maternal grandmother was a picture bride from Japan who sold bootleg sake during Prohibition, my paternal grandmother was a Jewish Rosie the Riveter, and I'm distantly related to Cab Calloway.

4)  In my spare time I like to make things from recycled materials (like those pictured in this post).  I'm also trying to study shibori, a Japanese dying technique.  Someday I will summon the courage to try to sell things that I make.

5)  This is my all time favorite cartoon (click 'view larger').

6)  I once almost threw up on the Governor of California.  Well, not on him exactly, but next to him.  I was reviewing bills with him in his car, and his CHP driver was doing at least 80 down the shoulder of a busy LA freeway.  I'm prone to motion sickness and was feeling quite ill.  I had to stop explaining why I thought he should sign a bill because I thought I might lose it.  He vetoed the bill and I've always felt bad about it.

7)  My husband and I once heard (incorrectly) that the Ben and Jerry's flavor Chubby Hubby was going to be discontinued.  We rushed to our local shop, pointed to the 10 or 12 pints of that flavor, and said "we'll take it all."

8) I was once pressured into being a "model" for a lesson in manual breastmilk expression at at breastfeeding training - in front of about 100 people.  Never again.

I pass this meme on to Amy at Crunchy Domestic Goddess, Cate at The Milk Memos blog, and Alexis at Keep Abreast.

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