One of the things they don't tell you about becoming a lactation consultant is how deeply you can empathize with other mothers' breastfeeding struggles.
They never tell you, for example, that when you're standing in front of a screaming baby on a scale, you might feel a sudden urge to squeeze the mother's hand, or start bargaining with God for an extra ounce.
It's one thing to provide information and hands-on help, troubleshoot, and try to puzzle through an unusual problem, but it's another thing to find yourself waking up in the middle of the night thinking about a mother or a baby. Maybe it's because I was recently in her position, myself.
I don't mean in any way to suggest that I'm experiencing the same thing as mothers I work with. I'm quite aware that, unlike those mothers, I get a full night's sleep, am experiencing no nipple pain, and can eat and shower whenever I want. But these struggles really do get under my skin, and there are weeks when I carry a tiny bit of the pain around with me.
The flip side is that when there is success I get to share a little bit of the joy, too. And this week there have been a number of small and large victories among mothers I'm working with. Sometimes the accomplishments are overshadowed by new problems or just the craziness of having a new baby, so much so that I feel as if I need to grab a mom by the shoulders and say "You did it!" The battles I saw won this week were hard fought and in some cases required a whole lot of stubborness. I hope that they feel proud.
So when I'm standing in front of that baby flailing on the scale, I sometimes hold my breath. But when the number comes up and a smile spreads across both our faces, I can't think of any place I'd rather be.
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