Exclusive pumping: Chris' story

Today I'm very pleased to post a breastfeeding story by Chris, who lives in Chicago.  Chris exclusively pumped for her baby after a long struggle with nursing at breast.  I think that her story does a great job of highlighting the challenges and rewards of exclusing pumping, and also highlights some misconceptions about it.   

What happens when you can’t overcome a breastfeeding challenge? If you’re like me, you end up exclusively pumping breastmilk for over a year.

My breastfeeding journey was not at all how I’d planned it. In the months leading up to the birth of my son I worked hard to lay a good foundation for breastfeeding. I read “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding”, attended La Leche League meetings, took a “How-to” class, and opted for an epidural free birth.

My son was born full-term and healthy. That is to say, there wasn’t a reason in the world why we shouldn’t be able to breastfeed. But we couldn’t. Our attempts at nursing were evaluated by three lactation consultants, my LLL Leader, and countless friends and relatives who had successfully breastfed. No one could get my son to latch and no one could tell me why.

When I started pumping at the hospital, I assumed it would be a temporary fix. Two weeks later I started to think that this might go on for much longer. The “experts” I consulted for guidance were unprepared and frankly were unsupportive about exclusively pumping. I was told it would be impossible to effectively establish and maintain my milk supply. I tried anyway, and you know what, they were wrong.

After three months of trying, I finally gave up attempting to nurse. Emotionally it was too hard to be “rejected” over and over by my son. So I found myself on a road much less traveled as I continued to pump. He thrived on my milk and I took comfort in that. He was getting much of the same benefits of breastmilk, just not the traditional way. Just after his first birthday I started to “wean” from pumping as he transitioned to cow’s milk.

We may have failed at nursing, but I feel like I succeeded at breastfeeding. Some of the challenges are the same with pumping as with nursing, clogged ducts, mastasis, cracked nipples. But in my experience the challenges of exclusively pumping were not understood or acknowledged. There is a misconception that pumping is somehow easier and more convenient than nursing. Believe me, there is nothing convenient about relying on a breast pump to feed your child. Forget “sleeping when the baby sleeps;” you have to pump when the baby sleeps. In the beginning, it’s usually 8 to 12 times a day, although most women can cut back as the baby gets older. Pumping in public? Forget it, although I was known to discreetly do so when necessary. It’s also hard if not impossible to soothe a crying baby or entertain a mobile baby while pumping. A simple question, “Are you breastfeeding or bottlefeeding?” becomes very complicated to answer.

Emotionally you also have to deal with the loss of a nursing relationship. That has been the hardest part for me. I’m trying to look forward now. I’m pregnant with my second child and hoping that nursing, not pumping, is in our future.

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Comments

[Half Pint Pixie]

That's an amazing achievement Chris. I am always in awe of women who exclusively pump, it is such a great gift for your baby, and I imagine it is so much work, feeding, cleaning all the bottles and the time to pump too. You should be proud of yourself :)

[Hyperactive Lu]

What a great story! I struggled and failed at breastfeeding my first child. Now that I am 10 days into breastfeeding my second child, knowing that there are OTHER options, makes a mother feel good. Thanks for this great, encouraging story!

[Rebekah]

What a great post. I have had a few friends who have received a lot of grief for exclusively pumping as if it weren't "really" breastfeeding. I pumped for my son while working full-time and know it is no picnic! Props to you for being so committed!

[Lady Blognanimous]

Thank you for posting this encouraging story. What a beautiful gift!

[PDX Mom]

What a wonderful story. It is so nice to know that there are other options. I'm having difficulty nursing after 2 1/2 months and end up pumping several times a day. I know it's not easy. To hear that it can be done up to and over a year is VERY inspiring.

[Stephanie]

I exclusively pumped with my first (she is three now), and I am 9 months into breastfeeding my second. I was able to get my second Daughter to latch successfully, but I work full-time, so I pump four times during the day. I work in IT, so I have a laptop to take into a room, and I can pump, talk on the phone and send email simultaneously. It puts a whole new spin on multi-tasking! I was hospitalized, after becoming septic, for three days with about three months ago. My immune system was down from a GI virus I had contracted from work, and the bacteria that had entered my body through my horribly cracked nipple had caused mastitis. My pain tolerance had increased in my breasts to such a level that I was more bothered by the GI pain than the breast pain or the silver-dollar wound (yes, silver-dollar) that I was sporting on my aereola. The mastitis was the culprit for the horrible sickness, and I was reduced to crawling and eventually not being able to hold a phone to my ear, before my husband carted me off to the ER. I know all too well how hard it is EITHER WAY you decide to feed your child breastmilk. I have struggled with the answer to the "Is she breastfed or bottle-fed?" question as well. I always say breastfed. I have never seen a bottle produce it's own milk. Kudos to all of you that are "booby mamas", as my 3-year-old says. She happily informs everyone that my 9 month old "only drinks booby milk". I'm proud that she knows that ;-) Love. Healthy boobs, and rock on booby mamas!

[Beth]

What a wonderful success story. Thanks for sharing it, Chris.

[Maria]

A friend of mine nannied for a lady who had to exclusively pump, and because that lady found few resources, she wrote a book on how to pump exclusively. I'll ask my friend the title, and try to come back and post it. It might help other women in the future!

BTW-- I just found this blog, and it is great! :)

[Mindy]

I just stumbled across this blog and have to say that it is great that you were able to pump for so long. I'm afraid my days are numbered. My girl was a bit premature and we had problems with latching and weight gain. After a couple months of pumping constantly to get my supply up (and supplement when she refused my breast) and fighting to get her to latch on, I had to make the difficult decision to just stick to pumping. I would put her on the breast occasionally, and she eventually was fine with it, but unfortunately, my supply never got to where it needed to be. At the most I was able to pump 11 oz a day and had to also feed her formula. At almost 5 months old I am down to 9 oz. I am taking herbal supplements to try and get it back up because I wanted to at least go 6 months. It's great that you had enough milk to pump for a year and it sounds like you had enough to not have to use formula as well.

I don't know if I will have another child, but if I do, and if we fail again at breastfeeding, I would exclusively pump again. As much as I hate it, I want my child to have whatever amount of milk I can give her, even if it's only one bottle a day.

[ellen]

I come to check in on your blog periodically, but I hadn't been here for a few weeks. I'm so bummed that I came to read Chris's post so late in the game.

I too had a terrible time breastfeeding with my first child. I was told by the nurse "your nipples just won't work". When I brought my difficulties to the hospital lacation specialist, her reply was "I've never encountered the problems you describe." It was very discouraging. The most difficult part, as Christ intimated, however, was the continual rejection by my daughter of the breast.

I developed ppd slowly over the first three months of my daughters life (in tandem with the loss of any "at the breast" relationship), and pumping was the one way in which I still felt connected to my child. I pumped and exclusively fed my daughter breastmilk until she was one year old, and then we too slowly weaned to cow's milk.

Fast forward three years and I am now the mother of a vivacious and tenacious three year old and an exclusively (as in never had a bottle ever) breastfed baby. While I knew it was possible that I would have the same problems the second time around, I was hopeful for the best.

In the end whatever way milk comes to the baby, milk derived from the breast is definitely best. Best of luck to Chris with baby number two.