Last week I posted a story written by Chris, a mom who exclusively pumped for her baby. A few days after it was posted I got the email below from a father, who took her story to heart. You'll see why I asked for permission to post it.
Hi there Tanya,
I am the father of a two month old child, our first. I just came across your blog (via a Catholic mom's website I was perusing) and the Dec. 31st posting from Chris who is pumping breast milk exclusively.
It is strange to be writing, as I am a dad here, but I just wanted to thank you for that posting and for what you do. You see, our gorgeous little girl was born with a cleft palate and this article was inspiring to me. Because of her challenge, our baby, can not suck and therefore can not breastfeed. This was a very hard blow for my wife who is also suffering from severe post partum depression.
The PPD and all that my wife has been struggling with have been a real shocker to me. As a man, I may be big and tough and all that, but naturally we are also the weaker sex ;) (Look, I saw my wife give birth, so I merely state that as an empirical fact.) It is a switch for me to be the one to "carry" us along in so many ways. This is why I am on the mom websites while she struggles with everything else.
Anyway, I have sought to provide her with as much love and support as I can. Very early on, she broke down and declared that she was going to quit pumping because she just couldn't take it. Seemed like everyone she knew would also come in the house and say such unhelpful things as, "You know you can quit that pumping nonsense if it becomes too much," and "Just feed her formula, she's had a week of breast milk." Ugh!
With patience, I reminder her that it was only her choice whether to quit or not, but asked her to consider if she could continue, as the benefits would be important to our baby - especially since she will be soon undergoing surgery. I am a former Army officer, and I felt like I was asking my wife to volunteer to go out on a dangerous mission. It was a hard thing to ask of her. (In the Catholic faith we simply call this "love" as we believe that we are each called to sacrifice our lives for each other...)
Well, she not only gave up on giving up, but she has been just an unbelievable pumping "machine!" The sacrifice has been enormous, but despite the depression, she happily pumps. But I know how hard it is. I do many of the feedings but then my wife misses out on the connection with the baby. Moms who are able to breastfeed have NO IDEA how blessed they are that they can give milk and feed ALL AT THE SAME TIME - WOW!
Anyway, it has just been so hard on her that I am quite simply amazed at how well she has done. She has even started building up a steady supply of frozen milk for when she "goes back to work." My wife has proved to have nothing short of superhuman resolve and a simply awe-inspiring and true loving dedication and self-sacrifice for our very lucky kid.
So anyway, thank you for that posting. I am sure that there are MANY other new moms facing this difficulty. It is VERY TOUGH. But it is also "do-able" and they are not alone!
God Bless you! You do good work!
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