The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog

Back from Mars.

For the last three days I've been serving on the jury for a criminal trial in my area.  I won't get into the nature of the charges (not pleasant), but I do want to reflect a bit on the experience, even though it doesn't have anything to do with breastfeeding.

First, unlike just about everyone I know, I've always wanted to serve on a jury.  Call me sentimental, but it's one of so few things that this country asks of its civilians, and it's such a uniquely American institution which I wanted to experience (not that other countries don't have jury trials, but this is an opportunity to experience our particular system of justice). 

So, here's what I've been thinking:

Serving on a jury is a huge and humbling responsibility.  I could hear the foreman's voice tremble a bit when he read the verdict, and he's a big and tough-acting guy.  I've heard the words "reasonable doubt" thousands of times, but I've never had to use it to determine someone's fate. 

Being on a jury is a little like trip to another planet, say Mars.  You're suddenly a critical part of the nightmare which the parties are living, though you've never seen or heard of them before.  It feels a bit like "We interrupt your regularly scheduled week of reading Franklin books and helping fix latches so that you can make a life-altering decision in the life of a perfect stranger."

And while this is trivial in the scheme of things, life as you know it is put on hold for the duration of the experience.  This isn't necessarily bad, but it does feel strange.  I found that I lost track of which day of the week it was.  And of course it's strange to not be able to discuss what's happening with your partner or anyone else but the 11 other strangers in the deliberation room.

At the risk of sounding like a bad political speech, I feel very priveleged to have served in this way.  Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.  Where's that pump?

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They're lies!

And speaking of weaning...

I meant to post this long ago, when it was on You Tube, but it was taken down due to copyright concerns (though, yes, there are many Family Guy episodes still up there).

Anyway, I found this on a personal website, and can't resist posting it.  So check it out while you can!

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The 13th Carnival of Breastfeeding: Beginnings and Endings.

Welcome to the 13th Carnival of Breastfeeding!  This month's theme is beginnings and endings.  Be sure to check out the posts at the bottom of this page for more great posts from other bloggers.  My post today is about weaning.*

About 6 months after my son weaned, I overheard him talking to another child at a family party.

"I don't nurse anymore," he said.  "Mama said 'not today, tomorrow is okay,' and then," he said, holding his hands in the air and shaking his head for emphasis, "I just stopped."  He sounded proud and a tiny bit confused.

For us, weaning was like picking a really ripe fruit.  Do you know what it's like to pick a fruit when it's not yet ripe?  There's resistance, and it takes some effort or struggle. Now imagine picking the same fruit when it's ripe.  It practically falls into your hand. 

This is what weaning was like for me.  Nursing just faded out, without protest or struggle.  At some point I suggested that we nurse every other bedtime, instead of at each bedtime.  That lasted for about a week, and then I guess he forgot about it, and there we were, done.  He didn't notice that we'd stopped until I pointed it out to him a few weeks later.

Later, I found this quote from Dr. Sears' Baby Book:

In ancient writings, the word 'wean' meant 'to ripen" -- like a fruit nourished to readiness, it's time to leave the vine....Weaning was a joyous occasion because a weaned child was valued as a fulfilled child; a child was so filled with the basic tools of the earlier stages of development that she graduated to take on the next stage of development more independently.  - The Baby Book, Sears and Sears.

It was like this with other things like sleep and potty training.  We trusted that he would know when the time was right.  And when we sensed it was, we gave him a tiny push in the right direction, and that was it. 

This is not to say that there wasn't suffering involved, especially with regard to sleep.  I was ready to be done with nursing before he was, but kept going until I felt he was ready.  And there can certainly be a feeling of buyer's remorse if you do it this way.  But in the end I think that the sacrifices were worth it, and I'd do it all again the same way.

Last year our preschool director sent us a newsletter with a quote I think about a lot.  It said, that newborn babies are faced with the two major tasks of childhood:  to establish connections with others, and to become independent individuals.  It also said that most of us, sometimes unconcsiously, emphasize one over the other.  For us, it has been a conscious decision to emphasize connection and to gently push our son toward independence.  Weaning was one of the best examples of this.

Check out these posts by bloggers participating in this month's carnival (updated throughout the day):

• How to be a Badass Dad - The Breastfeeding Father
• Leche Baby! - Weaning a Toddler
• Mama Knows Breast - One Mom's Story of Breastfeeding Challenges
• Breastfeeding Mums - Beginnings and Endings
• Adventures of Pip and Squeak - A Complicated Relationship
• Nature Moms - Mama Knows Breast
• Crunchy Domestic Goddess - Inauspicious Breastfeeding Beginnings
• Tales of Life with a Girl on the Go - Breastfeeding Beginnings
• Breastfeeding 1-2-3 - Weaning during Pregnancy

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My winter clearance picks for under $10, and enter to win this baby tunic.

Motherwear's winter clearance sale started yesterday, and there are some really great deals to be had.  They're also offering $6 shipping right now. 

My picks shown here are all under $10, believe it or not.

I've tried on several of these and really like them.  Especially the black roll-top transition skirt to the left and the brown embroidered skirt above.  Very comfortable.  A number of these items would actually be great for spring or summer.

I also picked up an extra one of these cute little gauze tunic tops (shown below) to give away.  The size is 3-6 months - great for your little baby or as a shower gift.  And ridiculously cheap - $2.99!

So, leave me a comment telling me who you'd like to have wear this little tunic by January 26th, 2008, and you're entered.  Please use a 'real' email address so I can contact you if you win.  U.S. addresses only, please.

P.S.  Don't forget to vote, please!

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What do you think of this ad?

This ad for nipple cream from Boots, a large pharmacy chain in the U.K., has attracted some protest.  In case you can't make it out, the baby in this picture is stretching the mother's breast into the next county.  The text at the bottom says, "For the first time in my life I wish I had three nipples."

In spite of the protests from from the National Childbirth Trust and Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, the Guardian reports that the ad has been approved the the Advertising Standards Authority.  The Guardian reports:

Complainants said the ads were misleading because they implied that sore nipples were normal when breastfeeding, whereas in fact it was usually due to incorrect feeding techniques.

The complainants added that the ad was misleading because Boots positioned its cream as the only product that could alleviate the problem of sore nipples.

They also argued that the ads were irresponsible, because they might discourage new mothers from seeking professional guidance about correct feeding, and offensive because they presented an "unfair and negative image of breastfeeding".

Boots said the ads were designed to look at a problem commonly experienced by mothers in a "light-hearted and humorous way".

In its ruling, the ASA said breast-feeding mothers were likely to be "reasonably well informed" about the causes of sore nipples through antenatal classes and literature.

I'm curious about your views on this.  Are the protestors right that this ad could scare women away from breastfeeding, or convince them that pain they experience is normal and dissuade them from seeking help?  Or are they giving mothers too little credit?  Is it just a lighthearted and hip look at what, unfortunately, is a common experience, especially for women who don't get good help early on. 

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Mothers Milk Bank wins semi-final round. Vote in the finals, please!

Last week I posted about a contest on a site called IdeaBlob, urging you to vote for a proposal from the Mothers Milk  Bank of New England.  The winner, chosen by online votes, receives $10,000.

Many of you voted, and we made it to the final round!  We're now competing against seven other ideas, in a round than runs from January 22nd to January 31st.

I'm back asking you to vote again in the final round to help us win these much needed funds.  Please take a few seconds today to visit the site below and cast your vote.  You'll be supporting the milk bank's costs for equipment, a 'Milk Money Fund,' and outreach materials.  So, please:

• VOTE HERE
• Pass this along to friends and family.
• If you have a blog or participate in an online discussion forum, post it there.

A New Hampshire reporter who heard about this contest as written a great article about the Milk Bank, which you can find here. 

Thank you!  Feel free to email me with any questions.

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General anesthesia and breastfeeding.

VideoJug: Does general anesthesia affect breastfeeding?

If only all breastfeeding advice was so clearly put.  I have to say that this not the advice I hear women given when they go in for a surgery.  Usually they're told to pump and dump for anywhere from 2 to 24 hours.

There's more good information on this topic here and here.  And for a post on breastfeeding and MRI or CT scans, see this post.  Thanks to Angela for posting about this a few months ago!

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Free sleep bra with a $75 purchase.

Motherwear's favorite sleep bra is yours free now with a $75 order. 

Motherwear sleep bras are great for a gentle, comfortable support during both pregnancy and nursing.  For those of us who leak a bit at night, sleep bras are great for holding nursing pads in place.  Lots of moms find these bras great for comfortable daytime use, too.

Offer ends on January 22nd, 2008.  Use code WW7F.  Motherwear is also offering a shipping rate of $6 for any order right now.

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From Afghanistan with love.

Thanks to reader Kelly in Nevada, here's a pretty inspiring story for you: 

Air Force Captain Ginger Bohl, deployed to Afghanistan in August when her son was about 6 months old, has been sending pumped milk back to him ever since.

The San Angelo, Texas Standard Times reports:

"It's my wife," says Michael Bohl, her husband and Silas' father. "She is an amazing woman - her spirit, her faith, everything about her just shines."

Ginger Bohl, an Air Force captain, is an active-duty doctor deployed in Afghanistan from Goodfellow Air Force Base. Since leaving in late August, Bohl has sent home biweekly shipments of her breast milk, frozen and shipped in 30- to 40-pound quantities directly to the Bohl family.

Thirty-five pounds of milk is about 4 gallons' worth. This delicate commodity makes it halfway across the planet, a distance of more than 8,000 miles, in just three short days.

The father notes that Ginger has been very lucky to have an power and a freezer at her post, and that the family is lucky to be able to afford the shipping costs.  He suggests a moratorium on deployment for breastfeeding mothers beyond the current four month limit.  He also notes that the importation hasn't always been smooth:

Shipments have been held up by customs and the USDA because of the potential for infectious diseases.

"There's one guy at JFK (airport in New York City) who is now very informed about the benefits of breast-feeding and why we needed the milk right away," Bohl said. "I was even sent to the IRS to get the milk because they thought we were running some kind of Afghani breast-milk ring."

Ginger Bohl will return home in a few days.  Her husband says:

"She's been gone for so long, nearly half of his life," Bohl said. "Every time he hears her on the TV [through a webcast], he crawls up to touch it. He knows her face and her voice. He knows his mommy. I know it won't be a problem."

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Please spend 30 seconds today to help the Mothers Milk Bank of New England.

A few weeks ago Jen at The Lactivist pointed me to an online competition at a site called IdeaBlob.  The contest allows anyone to post a business or non-profit idea and compete for $10,000, given away each month.

Jen suggested that we try to raise some needed money for the startup of the Mothers Milk Bank of New England.  Despite the large number of hospitals in our region, the nearest milk banks to our area are in North Carolina and Ohio!  My local breastfeeding coalition has been working to establish a milk collection depot in our area. 

The Milk Bank needs money for 1) processing and storage equipment, 2) a "Milk Money" fund to help families whose insurance won't cover processing fees, and 3) marketing materials to get the word out about the new bank. 

So, here's our chance to make a big difference today.  Here's what to do:

• Go to the Milk Bank page on IdeaBlob, and vote for this project!  You have to register first and confirm by email, which doesn't take long.
• Blog or post about this wherever you can to help bring in more votes.

Thank you for your time today!  And cross your fingers...

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