My favorite moments from breastfeeding classes.

I taught my last prenatal breastfeeding class this week.  I've been teaching these classes as part of childbirth series for about three years.

Last night's class was a really great group, and it got me thinking about some of the more memorable questions and comments I've heard while teaching at several hospitals.  Here are some, to the best of my recollection:

Me:  I wasn't always a lactation consultant.  This is a career change for me.  See if you can guess what happened.  About three years ago I had a... (no response) It starts with a 'b...'
Expectant mom:  A breakdown?

Me:  Let's say you're engorged and it's 4:00 am and the supermarket's closed.  What do you have in your house which you could use as a cold compress?"
Expectant dad:  Steak!
Me:  Steak?
Expectant dad:   Don't you remember that Brady Bunch episode where Bobby gets a black eye and they put a steak on it?

Expectant mom:  Can you eat while breastfeeding?
Me:  Do you mean are there certain things you should or shouldn't eat?
Expectant mom:   No, I mean can you actually eat while you're nursing the baby?
Me:   Oh, yeah.  I used to spill salsa on my baby all the time.

Expectant mom:   I'm definitely going to try to breastfeed, but if the baby bites my nipple off I think that's the point where I'd have to draw the line.

Expectant dad:   Upon seeing that the baby doll he had chosen had a heart sticker on it:  My baby's pimped out!

Me:  So, what do you want to know about breastfeeding?
Expectant dad:  How to make ice cream.

Expectant mom:  In my country, we say that one breast is for the baby, and one breast is for the husband.

Me: So, I want to encourage all of you dads to hold your baby skin-to-skin, too.
Expectant dad:  But if the baby latches on to me, how do I get him off?
Other expectant dad:  And get all of the hairs out of his mouth?

I'll also remember: 

Watching all the dads (it never fails) take the baby dolls we're using to practice positions and turn their heads around like in The Exorcist.  Apparently the hospital has to replace the dolls more often because of this - eventually this makes their heads pop off.

It's been a lot of work, but also very fun.  Except for the class I taught with my fly down...

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