Should you store your milk in the office fridge?

On Sunday, the Boston Globe's etiquette column, "Miss Conduct," published a question about breastmilk in the workplace.  Read on, and then tell me what you think of the response.

Question:  A co-worker recently returned from maternity leave, and upon opening our office refrigerator today to grab my yogurt, I came face to face with a bottle of what appears to be breastmilk, labeled with this woman's name.  Although I breastfed my children and am an ardent supporter of it, I always took pains to be discreet about it at work.  If I pumped milk in the office, I stored it in a paper bag or small cooler so others wouldn't see it.  What's your take on this?  Should we all be exposed to her daily output of breastmilk every time we venture to the fridge?

Answer:  Your co-worker's behavior is seriously inappropriate, and I hope it can be attributed to the emotional upheaval of having to leave her baby the million-and-one things she must be trying to keep track of right now.  One does not store bodily fluids - even sacred, precious, life-sustaining bodily fluids - in containers where others might see.  Reasonable discretion and unreasonable body shame are not the same thing.  Look, you're uncomfortable about this, and you're a breastfeeding veteran; imagine how childless colleagues, male and female, would feel.  Worse yet, imagine a colleague both childless and clueless piping up at the morning staff meeting, "Hey Sue, I ran out of half-and-half.  Hope you don't mind I used some of your soy milk!"  This must not be allowed to happen under any circumstances.  I think you should address the matter with her, since you have lactation cred yourself, and she won't think you're a child- or body-hater.  Explain to her how you handled the situation for yourself, and why.

If I'm reading this right, Miss Conduct is not actually saying that the mother shouldn't store her milk in the fridge.  She's agreeing with the author of the question, who feels that it should be kept in a bag or cooler, presumably within the fridge.  There's an awful lot of "ew, gross" in the answer, but I guess that's to be expected. 

I never stored my milk in our office fridge.  It actually never occurred to me, since it kept cool just fine in the insulated cooler in my pump bag.  Frankly, I'd worry a whole lot more about other people's rotting sandwiches and year-old yogurt getting near my milk than anything else; the office fridges where I've worked have been pretty nasty.

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Comments

[Maria]

I stored mine in our office refrigerator, and no one said anything, nor would they dare. My immediate supervisor was incredibly supportive (his wife is a nurse practitioner and staunch bf supporter as well) and no one thought much of it. I kept it in the Medela bottles from my pump. It was obvious. Everyone knew I went to pump three times a day. All around, it just wasn't (and isn't) a big deal. We have another lady doing this now, and a third on our floor about to start (her baby is due soon).

Personally, I think the answer is inappropriate and promotes fear/scare tactics as to the treatment and handling of breastmilk. It could be that I am sensitive to this topic, as I had to fight tooth and nail more than one time with our first daycare re: bm, but it seems that the problem is normalizing of breastfeeding and breastmilk that is the problem. Many women work after having a baby. At some point, paths are going to have to cross.

[Elita]

I agree with you. I'm not thrilled with the tone of the response, but leaving my milk in the fridge skeeves me out. I have an office with two co-workers, both women, one childless. Occasionally I store my milk in the fridge if I've carelessly forgotten my cooler bag (has happened a few times) but always in the back, away from the stuff they allow to sit in there for weeks on end! It grosses me out to leave my milk in there.
The thought that someone might "accidentally" use your milk in their coffee is pretty silly, though. I mean, it's in a baby bottle or breast milk storage bag, for goodness sake.

[Ashley]

Part of me thinks that she SHOULD put it in a bag, just because that seems like the normal(?) thing that you would do. Then the other part of me says "who cares??" and why is that more offensive than having cow's milk in the fridge?

[Jaime]

I am currently a breastfeeding mom working full-time. I pump 3 to 5 times a day for my daughter. I am careful with how I store my milk at work, just out of respect for my co-workers and because it would be terribly uncomfortable if it were mistaken for something else. I store it in an unlabeled black cooler bag that looks like a lunch bag. This has come in handy. Upon visiting my husband at work on my way home for the day, I was able to leave the bag (full of probably 20 ounces of milk) in his office fridge instead of my hot car and no one knew the difference! It has allowed me to only feed my daughter breastmilk thus far in her life (she's 5 1/2 months old).

[Kyle]

Interesting to think about. I am currently a breasfeeding mom who pumps at work. In fact, there are two of us in the office right now who are pumping. I don't usually use the office fridge, but have. Most often I put the milk in my lunch bag or another cooler when I used the fridge, but there were days when I didn't have anything available to "hide" it in, so I didn't. I chose to put it in the bottom drawer instead. I was not interested in any kind of confrontation with other co-workers or in offending anyone, but I also thought that people could deal with it if they did see it - we all have a right to use the office fridge, or not use it (and you are right - it gets gross!). Luckily I work in a very open-minded and liberal environment, so pumping and storing milk isn't even a topic of conversation; rather my co-workers just accept it and see it as a normal part of my workday. Thank goodness for that!

[cagey]

In my former professional life and in my current one as a SAHM, I have never encountered this. Therefore, my feelings are hypothetical. That said, when another blogger posted about this and complained, I politely inquired why it was okay to store cow's milk, but not human milk in the refrigerator. The blogger did not have a good answer.

[Becky]

Mixed feelings on this one. My office is so big and there is an issue with stuff in the fridge going missing, so I would never put my pumped milk in them. Might be different if it was a smaller office. If I forgot my cooler pack, I would conceal it somehow so it would not get messed with or just leave it out at my desk if the timing were going to be right and I could get it home in a few hours.

[Philomena]

I don't see the big deal. It's food, right? All food is inherently gross. That's what the fridge is for. That's why the kitchen is separate from the rest of the office. The BM isn't spilling all over the other food; she can't smell it or taste it. Co-worker needs to get over it. Worry about something that matters.

[erika]

I think the answer given is impractical and childish. Breastmilk is milk. Like another comment said - if cow milk, &/or goat milk can be stored in the fridge, why not my milk. I work w/ primarily men and pump. I had a frank discussion w/ them about pumping & storing the milk. I asked the guys if they were uncomfortable w/ me having my breastmilk in containers. They said no problem and a few even asked questions about why it was so important to me to give my son breastmilk. Let me add that the guys I work w/ aren't exactly high up on the maturity ladder. As for the grossness of food in the fridge - the breastmilk is in its own container. I don't think the 'germs' from the bad food is going to jump into the sealed breastmilk containers.

[Jenny]

I guess this mom should never let ANY of her coworkers hold the baby. What if, God forbid, the baby spit up on them? Or drooled on them? That's a bodily fluid! And she should never EVER let one of them give the baby a bottle because then they'd have to actually touch a container of her "bodily fluid!"

It's people like Miss Conduct who perpetuate the fear and loathing this country has for breastfeeding.

P.S. We don't have a work fridge, but depending on the number of people I worked with, I (hypothetically) may or may not use it to store my milk. My reason is that someone might touch it or spill something on it, etc. Yes, I am paranoid about what goes into my child.

[Kelly]

I pumped breastmilk at my office for a full year and YES, I did store it in the office fridge......I never thought otherwise. The thought never entered my mind to conceal my breastmilk or keep it in a cooler. I was shocked when I read this post. If any of my co-workers were offended, they never said anything to me about it. It's MILK!

[Natalie]

When will Americans grow up? Miss Conduct's answer is laughable. I'm an American currently living in Europe and many of my local friends just don't understand why Amerians find so many things offensive. What are we lacking that we have to knit-pick eveything? How do Americans travel throughout many countries in Europe without running to get back on the next plane home? The breastfeedng in public, obese women wearing bikini's, passionate kisses/public displays of affection in broad daylight (gasp!), no less!

Breastmilk in the refrigerator offensive? A reasonable person, happy in life, seeing something like that for the first time, should think, "oh, haven't seen that before. I guess I see and learn something new everyday." Then close the fridge and move on with his/her day.

[Lorsy]

he U.S. government offers a new series of free publications on "The Business Case for Breastfeeding," including one titled "Employees Guide to Breastfeeding and Working" that you can read a summary of at http://ask.hrsa.gov/detail.cfm?PubID=MCH00250.
Included on that web page are links to descriptions of the other pubs in the series. Those other pubs are for employers and managers of breastfeeding working moms. All pubs in this series can be ordered online or by e-mailing ask@hrsa.gov.

[Jennifer]

LOL at Jenny. That's exactly my take on it. I pumped at work for my first son and stored it in the office fridge. Co-workers would come in and see me washing my pump parts and think nothing of it. I pumped in bags and stored the bags in one of those large butter tubs. The office manager even gave me access to the conference room for privacy while pumping and if that was in use, he'd open a vacant office for me.