On Sunday, the Boston Globe's etiquette column, "Miss Conduct," published a question about breastmilk in the workplace. Read on, and then tell me what you think of the response.
Question: A co-worker recently returned from maternity leave, and upon opening our office refrigerator today to grab my yogurt, I came face to face with a bottle of what appears to be breastmilk, labeled with this woman's name. Although I breastfed my children and am an ardent supporter of it, I always took pains to be discreet about it at work. If I pumped milk in the office, I stored it in a paper bag or small cooler so others wouldn't see it. What's your take on this? Should we all be exposed to her daily output of breastmilk every time we venture to the fridge?
Answer: Your co-worker's behavior is seriously inappropriate, and I hope it can be attributed to the emotional upheaval of having to leave her baby the million-and-one things she must be trying to keep track of right now. One does not store bodily fluids - even sacred, precious, life-sustaining bodily fluids - in containers where others might see. Reasonable discretion and unreasonable body shame are not the same thing. Look, you're uncomfortable about this, and you're a breastfeeding veteran; imagine how childless colleagues, male and female, would feel. Worse yet, imagine a colleague both childless and clueless piping up at the morning staff meeting, "Hey Sue, I ran out of half-and-half. Hope you don't mind I used some of your soy milk!" This must not be allowed to happen under any circumstances. I think you should address the matter with her, since you have lactation cred yourself, and she won't think you're a child- or body-hater. Explain to her how you handled the situation for yourself, and why.
If I'm reading this right, Miss Conduct is not actually saying that the mother shouldn't store her milk in the fridge. She's agreeing with the author of the question, who feels that it should be kept in a bag or cooler, presumably within the fridge. There's an awful lot of "ew, gross" in the answer, but I guess that's to be expected.
I never stored my milk in our office fridge. It actually never occurred to me, since it kept cool just fine in the insulated cooler in my pump bag. Frankly, I'd worry a whole lot more about other people's rotting sandwiches and year-old yogurt getting near my milk than anything else; the office fridges where I've worked have been pretty nasty.
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