I'm pleased to share a guest post by Mary, an American mother of three who lives in Northern Ireland. Mary wrote this post after finding it hard to find stories of weaning toddlers.
When I became pregnant with Alex I knew that I did not want to wean him myself, I had done that with Rebecca and Jarod around age one and it did not go well, traumatized both of us each time.
With Alex I was much more informed and knew that extended breastfeeding was better for both the child and the mother. More info on extended breastfeeding here. I decided to allow him to self-wean. "Child-led weaning occurs when a child no longer has a need to nurse - nutritionally or emotionally. A baby who self-weans is usually well over a year old, is getting most of his nutrition from solids, is drinking well from a cup, and cuts down on nursing gradually. If children are truly allowed to self-wean in their own time, most will do so somewhere between the 2nd and 4th year. Obviously, some will wean before this time and some will wean after this time, too."
Alex nursed quite a bit until after he was 2 at which point he cut back to just one nursing at night time. It was our time to relax after a hard toddler day. Days of running and playing and climbing and crying and exploring all came to a quiet close...he would climb into my arms and be so sweet. He would sing to me, tell me about his day, pat my face, and slowly drift off to sleep.
As he got closer to his 3rd birthday he all of a sudden decided that when he turned 3 he would not need his "num num" anymore. He would talk to me about it at length, some days he'd be so excited about it .. "When I be 3 mommie I will be big and big does not need num num." "When my cake turn me 3 the num num will go bye bye." But other days he would seen to regret his decision...."Mommie when I turn 3 I will miss the num num....maybe I stay 2 longer?"
His last num num was Friday night, the last night before he turned 3. I had a bear made for him with 2 photos. One is of the very first num num he had - a few seconds after he was born and the other was taken by my friend Amy recently to represent his last num num.
I gave him the bear and he hugged it. He gently placed it on the bed, tucked it in, and said "I sleep with you tomorrow num num bear." He crawled into my arms and I tried not to cry. He usually falls asleep in a few seconds but this time he lingered, fighting the sleep. He sighed and said "It's hard to be big mommie." Yes, yes it is. It's also just as hard to let your baby be big.
His party was a blast and when night time rolled around I was not sure how he would handle it. Would he ask to nurse? Would he cry? He crawled into my arms, hugged his bear close to him, and said "I big now mommie. Can you just pat my back and sing to me?" I was so proud of him. It takes a strong person to know when it's time to grow up and go through with letting go of your last shred of babyhood.
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