The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog

The 14th Carnival of Breastfeeding: What's so funny about breastfeeding?

Welcome to the 14th Carnival of Breastfeeding!  This month we're featuring posts on breastfeeding humor.  Be sure to check out the other bloggers' posts at the bottom of this one.

I'm reviewing two new breastfeeding humor books.  That's right, two books on the humor in breastfeeding have been published in the last six months.  Looks like the universe thinks we need a laugh.  For more breastfeeding humor, check out these past posts!

First, The Breastfeeding Diaries (Meadowbrook Press 2007, 155 pp.) by Kate Davis, a stand-up comedian.  This is a compilation of some of the funniest breastfeeding stories I've ever heard. 

It starts with a story by the author about stepping nude (it was required) into the hot tub at her gym and spraying the other women with milk.  My favorites include a story about pumping during a conference call that turned out to be a video conference call, and (this one just amazes me) a mother whose breast reduction/lip enhancement surgery (yes, they moved it from there to there) goes horribly wrong when she starts to breastfeed.  There are fifty stories in all.  I can't share more without giving away some fantastic punchlines. 

This little book is just hilarious and would be a great gift for a nursing mom who could use a laugh.  I hope that there's a sequel in the works.

Next, If These Boobs Could Talk, (Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2008, 96 pp.) by Shannon Payette Seip, and Adrienne Hedger.  This book is a very clever and wonderfully illustrated ode to breasts.  Actually, it's written for your breasts. 

The book features games (mazes and quizzes), breastfeeding trivia, doodling pages for filling out with you toes while nursing, how-to lists (How to reward your boobs when they produce more milk) and a boob advice column.  It includes drawings depicting bad times to breastfeed (while learning to inline skate, during acupuncture) and instructions on how to hold a Boob Retirement Party. 

One of my favorites is a picture of the "Breastfeeding Circle of Life," which shows a circle of mothers' faces in varying states of distress and happiness.  The captions read start with "This is so difficult!" and "What did these huge rocks do with my boobs?" to "Hmm...this is getting easier," then "I love breastfeeding!" and finally "I don't want it to be over!" before the cycle starts again.

Again, a great gift for the mother who has been there, or who is there now and could use a lift, as it were.

Don't miss these great posts on breastfeeding humor on these other blogs (updated throughout the day):

• Stacie at The Twinkies shares the breastfeeding conversation she fears.
• Andi at Mama Knows Breast shares a dads' nursing in public video.
• Sinead at Breastfeeding Mums shares a pumping multi-tasking disaster.
• Amy at Crunchy Domestic Goddess shares several funny breastfeeding items.
• Carol at Happy Sad Mama shares why she loves to nurse her toddler.
• Angela at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 shares some crazy search terms that led readers to her site.
• Renata at Nurturing Notes shares a weaning story that made me laugh.

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Join the next breastfeeding carnival: What's so funny about breastfeeding?

How about a little breastfeeding humor to brighten up this winter month?  This month our theme is breastfeeding humor, or "What's so funny about breastfeeding?"  Posts could be on your own funny breastfeeding story, something you've seen online, or even a few breastfeeding jokes (G-rated, please).

Email me your submission by February 19th, 2008.  The carnival will be on Tuesday, February 26th, 2008.  Please note that, if your post is selected for inclusion by our reglular group of bloggers, you will be asked to link to each of the other participants in the carnival.  We reserve the right to choose posts for inclusion.  Examples of past carnival posts can be found here.

We'll be looking for posts that are:

• Well written and grammatically correct
• Thoughtful and directly on point for the carnival subject
• Submitted from blogs related to breastfeeding or parenting

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The 13th Carnival of Breastfeeding: Beginnings and Endings.

Welcome to the 13th Carnival of Breastfeeding!  This month's theme is beginnings and endings.  Be sure to check out the posts at the bottom of this page for more great posts from other bloggers.  My post today is about weaning.*

About 6 months after my son weaned, I overheard him talking to another child at a family party.

"I don't nurse anymore," he said.  "Mama said 'not today, tomorrow is okay,' and then," he said, holding his hands in the air and shaking his head for emphasis, "I just stopped."  He sounded proud and a tiny bit confused.

For us, weaning was like picking a really ripe fruit.  Do you know what it's like to pick a fruit when it's not yet ripe?  There's resistance, and it takes some effort or struggle. Now imagine picking the same fruit when it's ripe.  It practically falls into your hand. 

This is what weaning was like for me.  Nursing just faded out, without protest or struggle.  At some point I suggested that we nurse every other bedtime, instead of at each bedtime.  That lasted for about a week, and then I guess he forgot about it, and there we were, done.  He didn't notice that we'd stopped until I pointed it out to him a few weeks later.

Later, I found this quote from Dr. Sears' Baby Book:

In ancient writings, the word 'wean' meant 'to ripen" -- like a fruit nourished to readiness, it's time to leave the vine....Weaning was a joyous occasion because a weaned child was valued as a fulfilled child; a child was so filled with the basic tools of the earlier stages of development that she graduated to take on the next stage of development more independently.  - The Baby Book, Sears and Sears.

It was like this with other things like sleep and potty training.  We trusted that he would know when the time was right.  And when we sensed it was, we gave him a tiny push in the right direction, and that was it. 

This is not to say that there wasn't suffering involved, especially with regard to sleep.  I was ready to be done with nursing before he was, but kept going until I felt he was ready.  And there can certainly be a feeling of buyer's remorse if you do it this way.  But in the end I think that the sacrifices were worth it, and I'd do it all again the same way.

Last year our preschool director sent us a newsletter with a quote I think about a lot.  It said, that newborn babies are faced with the two major tasks of childhood:  to establish connections with others, and to become independent individuals.  It also said that most of us, sometimes unconcsiously, emphasize one over the other.  For us, it has been a conscious decision to emphasize connection and to gently push our son toward independence.  Weaning was one of the best examples of this.

Check out these posts by bloggers participating in this month's carnival (updated throughout the day):

• How to be a Badass Dad - The Breastfeeding Father
• Leche Baby! - Weaning a Toddler
• Mama Knows Breast - One Mom's Story of Breastfeeding Challenges
• Breastfeeding Mums - Beginnings and Endings
• Adventures of Pip and Squeak - A Complicated Relationship
• Nature Moms - Mama Knows Breast
• Crunchy Domestic Goddess - Inauspicious Breastfeeding Beginnings
• Tales of Life with a Girl on the Go - Breastfeeding Beginnings
• Breastfeeding 1-2-3 - Weaning during Pregnancy

Want to get email updates from the Motherwear Blog?  Subscribe here.  Want an RSS feed?  Click here. *Parts of this post were previously published on this blog.

The 12th Carnival of Breastfeeding: A book for everyone on your list.

Welcome to the twelfth Carnival of Breastfeeding! This month, in time for the holidays, we're bringing you reviews of breastfeeding/parenting books and videos.

If you're in the market for other breastfeeding products, check out past posts on best gifts for nursing moms, and breastfeeding gifts you'd bring to a baby shower. 

I started out this post with the intention of writing about one video, but I had too hard a time narrowing it down.  So here is my shopping list for many of the moms on your list.  Be sure to check out the posts from other bloggers below (updated throughout the day)!

For the pregnant mom:  In the past I've recommended The Nursing Mother's Companion, and I still love it, but there is a new edition of Dr. Jack Newman's The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers, and I'm a big fan.  Both books are comprehensive.  The Nursing Mother's Companion is better organized for quick reference, but Jack Newman's book has more interesting editorial content.  For the mom who wants her breastfeeding information with a dose of humor, check out Andi Silverman's Mama Knows Breast, which I just reviewed. 

For the working/pumping mom:  No surprise here that I love The Milk Memos, by Cate Colburn Smith and Andrea Serrette.  You can see my review here.  This book is a wonderful mixture of practical advice and personal accounts of working and pumping.  Psst...look for a podcast and give away related to this book soon. 

For the stay-at-home mom:  For the mom who gets asked "what do you do all day?" or "when are you going back to work?" I'd recommend What Mothers Do, Especially when it Looks like Nothing by Naomi Stadlen.

For the crunchy breastfeeding mom:  The Nursing Mother's Herbal, by Sheila Humphrey, is an excellent guide to herbs and breastfeeding.  It includes information on herbs for low milk supply, thrush, and a whole host of other breastfeeding problems.  It also discusses great home remedies for different breastfeeding problems, and gives a nice overview of complementary and alternative therapies.

For kids:  Mama's Milk, by Michael Elsohn Ross, is a wonderful and simple picture book which shows different mammals, including humans, nursing their young.  You can read my review here.  It looks like a Spanish version is due out soon.  I'm still hoping for a board book version.

For the La Leche League Leader:  La Leche League celebrated its 50th anniversary this year, and to commemorate the event the organization published The Revolutionaries Wore Pearls.  This book chronicles the history of LLL and its founders, and is presented like a scrapbook, with newspaper clippings and family pictures.  It's fun reading that makes you grateful to be parenting today.  I'll post a more detailed review soon.

For the lactation consultant:  There is a new DVD out which I think will revolutionize the world of breastfeeding:  Baby-Led Breastfeeding, by Dr. Christina Smillie and Kittie Frantz.  It shows baby after baby sliding down the mother's chest and self attaching.  Many of the babies filmed have had significant latch problems.  I'd love to be able to post a clip.  Another new publication which your lactation consultant would love is Supporting Sucking Skills in Breastfeeding Infants.  I just got my copy and so far it's great.

Finally, for your snarky mom friend:  Hatched: The Big Push from Pregnancy to Motherhood, is one of the funniest books I've seen in a long time.  It features little posed fake chicks with hilarious captions.  One picture shows a playground scene, with two groups of moms.  The caption says, "Ramona felt like it was high school all over again.  The cool moms, a.k.a. the Breast-Feeders, staked out their territory near the swings.  The outcasts, a.k.a. the Similac Sisters, were relegated to the sandbox."  Everyone gets skewered here, so it's a gift for a friend with a good sense of humor.  And be sure that the gift recipient is a parent - no one else could fully understand.

Check out these posts from other carnival contributors (updated through the day):

• The International Breastfeeding Symbol Blog reviews The Baby Book and Unconditional Parenting
• Hobo Mama reviews Our Babies, Ourselves (one of my favorites!)
• Mama Knows Breast reviews bOObs: A Guide to Your Girls
• Breastfeeding Mums reviews many books, including The Breastfeeding Cafe
• On School Street reviews Blindsided by a Diaper: 30 Men and Women Reveal How Parenthood Changes a Relationship
• Tales of Life with a Girl on the Go reviews the children's book The Best Gifts
• James and the Giant Moose reviews Having Faith
• The True Face of Birth reviews Mama Knows Breast
• Breastfeeding 1-2-3 reviews Baby Matters: What your Doctor May Not Tell you about Caring for your Baby
• Crunchy Domestic Goddess reviews the video What Babies Want

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The October Carnival of Breastfeeding: This I Believe.

Welcome to the eleventh Carnival of Breastfeeding.  This month we've all searched our souls and written "This I Believe" essays.  Be sure to check out the other carnival entries at the bottom of this post (updated throughout the day)!

I believe in instinct.

When I was pregnant my husband and I took a childbirth class.  One of the expectant fathers in the class worked in a primate lab at the local university.  He said that whenever a monkey was pregnant the staff would try to observe the monkey giving birth.  But they never did.  The monkey would wait until late at night, when no human was present, to birth to her baby.

I remember thinking that this was an interesting piece of trivia, but that it certainly had nothing to do with me.  When I contemplated motherhood, instinct didn't factor into the equation at all.  After all, I had a brain that could figure complicated things out.  I had a college degree.  I had the Internet!  And my body generally did what my mind told it to do.

But from the moment my son entered the world I came to understand that we are mammals.  Sophisticated mammals, but mammals nonetheless. 

A few months ago I attended a talk given by Dr. Nils Bergman, who pioneered the concept of "kangaroo care."  He showed a series of pictures, side by side, of a human newborn and a newborn puppy.  Both human and dog rooted, smelled, and kicked their way over to find the breast. 

Such examples are endless.  Simply holding a babies skin-to-skin regulates their oxygen levels, heart rate, temperature, and blood sugars.  Most mothers, across cultures, touch their newborn babies for the first time in the same order (fingers, palms, arms and legs, trunk).  Our chests actually heat up when our babies are placed on us, presumably to keep them warm. 

Meredith Small, in one of my favorite books, Our Babies, Ourselves, writes "...Scientific and medical advisors, counselors, and researchers seem to miss the fact that culture, in the form of the medical establishment, has intervened in human biology.  For millions of years the human female animal gave birth and held that baby to her chest.  She carried the baby close and helped it find the nipple....In all cultures except Western culture, the process is the same today."

A few years ago I gave a talk about breastfeeding to a class of undergraduate nutrition students.  One of them asked me "What technological advances have been made in breastfeeding recently?"  The question caught me off guard, but it's a wonderful illustration our culture's hierarchy:  nature is nice, but technology is the real deal.  Of course, there is no question technology has saved countless mothers and babies.  But when nature designs a system, and equips us with instincts to use it, I believe that we should pay attention. 

What the monkeys in the primate lab know, which I think too many of us have forgotten, is that instinct - such as the instinct to feel safe when birthing - matters.  These bits of hard-wiring may seem quaint, outdated, or even dangerous to some, but they are nature's technology, and they too have protected our babies and ourselves for thousands of years. 

I believe that we have instincts, and we ignore them at our peril.   

Be sure to check out the posts from these great bloggers (updated throughout the day):

• Half Pint Pixie:  "I believe that breastfeeding is natural but not always easy."
• Breastfeeding Mums:  "I have a dream...a dream that involves breastfeeding."
• Breastfeeding 1-2-3:  "I believe in gentle discipline."
• The Lactivist:  "I believe that the things most worth doing in life are hard."
• Such Great Heights:  "I believe that you don't have to be a breastfeeding mother to support breastfeeding."
• Musings of a Crunchy Domestic Goddess:  "I believe in attachment parenting - or parenting by instinct."

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Join the October Carnival of Breastfeeding: This I Believe.

This is your invitation to join the next Carnival of Breastfeeding!

For October our theme will be a little different than past carnivals.  We're all going to write "This I believe" essays on topics related to breastfeeding and parenting.

This I Believe is a national project which encourages people to write personal statements of belief.  Avid NPR listeners have probably heard some of these essays on the radio.  Here's the project's description:

This I Believe is an international project engaging people in writing, sharing, and discussing the core values that guide their daily lives. These short statements of belief, written by people from all walks of life, are archived here and featured on public radio in the United States and Canada. The project is based on the popular 1950s radio series of the same name hosted by Edward R. Murrow.

As usual, we'll be looking for the following:

• Posts that are well written and grammatically correct
• Posts that are thoughtful and on topic
• For this month, posts that follow the "This I believe" essay format
• Posts from blogs that are on topics that are of interest to readers of breastfeeding blogs (parenting, breastfeeding, etc.)

Submissions are due by October 16th, and can be emailed to me.  The Carnival will be held on October 23rd.  You can see examples of past carnival posts under the category "Carnivals of Breastfeeding." 

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The Tenth Carnival of Breastfeeding: Sleep

Welcome to the Tenth Carnival of Breastfeeding!

This month we bring you posts on the topic of that elusive quantity:  sleep.  Be sure to check out the other posts at the bottom of this post.

When people ask me about sleep, I usually look for a quick exit.  I don't know much about sleep except the following:  You can find a book that will tell you whatever you want to believe about babies and sleep. 

Since my husband and I lean heavily  toward the attachment parenting end of the spectrum, we read Dr. Sears and Elizabeth Pantley.  We followed Dr. Weisbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child for a while, and while it helped, nothing really worked until our son was about a year old.

Of course it was terrible, but to us the sleep deprivation was better than a screaming, distraught baby.  The lesson I learned then, and have since forgotten and learned again with issues like weaning and potty training, is that when a child is ready it's easy.  All it takes is a little push in the right direction.  When they aren't, it's a battle. 

Here is another thing I know about sleep:  mastering the side-lying position can make nightime feedings much more manageable.  Not having to sit up for feedings at night means that you get to sleep more easily.  It's also great for a daytime feeding and snooze.

But for most mothers this position is the hardest to get right.  You roll around.  You're worried about crushing the baby, and you can't get a good latch.  So here are some of my favorite resources for learning the side lying position:, as well as a few other sleep resources:

• Video on how to get settled in this position, from breastfeeding.com.
• A step by step guide to this position from Ameda.
• A study suggesting that early use of lying down positions results in babies showing more natural reflexes.
• A page on kellymom.com on the myth that nursing lying down causes ear infections.
• And here's a page on kellymom.com on night weaning.
• My review of Sleeping with Your Baby.

Be sure to check out these posts from other bloggers (updated throughout the day):

• Mama's Magic tells us why the song "So Tired" brought her to tears.
• Hathor the Cowgoddess shares a comic on sleep in her household.
• Breastfeeding Mums tells us about her sleepless nights.
• Leche, Baby! wonders when her son will night wean.
• Veggie Way writes about co-sleeping and learning to let her baby sleep where she wants.
• Breastfeeding 1-2-3 contributes "why sleep training makes me cry."
• Crunchy Domestic Goddess writes about co-sleeping for sanity.
• Life with Twins writes about how sleep training saved her breastfeeding relationship with her twins.
• The Lactivist contributes "to sleep, perhance to dream."
• Mama Knows Breast stays awake long enough to write about "breastfeeding and sleep."

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Join the next carnival: Breastfeeding and Sleep

I once met a mother of twins, whose husband found her one night standing in the middle of their bedroom, patiently nursing...nothing.  Can you relate?

For our next carnival of breastfeeding, we're seeking submissions on anything related to breastfeeding and sleep, such as cosleeping, sleep deprivation, even sleep walking!  As always, we're looking for:

• Posts that are well written and grammatically correct
• Posts that are thoughtful and on topic
• Posts from blogs that are on topics that are of interest to readers of breastfeeding blogs (parenting, breastfeeding, etc.)

Submissions are due by September 11th, and can be emailed to me.  You can see examples of past carnival posts under the category "Carnivals of Breastfeeding." 

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The ninth Carnival of Breastfeeding: Learning to Let Go.

Welcome to our ninth carnival of breastfeeding!   This month's theme is 'learning to let go.'  Be sure to check out the links to other bloggers participating, shown at the bottom of this post.

When I returned to work at the end of my maternity leave, one of my colleagues, a mother of three boys, handed me a copy of a Cathy cartoon. 

It showed Cathy talking to an exasperated looking woman at work.  The woman is listing off all of her anxieties about returning to work and leaving her children.  She’s worried that she’s a bad mother, that her kids are being poorly cared for in day care, about her ability to perform at work.  In the last picture Cathy says something like, “That really puts the ‘which color lip gloss’ question in perspective.”

My colleague said that someone gave that cartoon to her on her first day back at work, and she’s given it to every mother she knows on their first day back. 

The funny thing is that, on that first day back, I didn’t feel that conflicted at all.  When I left that morning I kissed both my son and husband goodbye.  My husband had elected to take a leave from teaching after our son was born and stayed home with him for a year and a half while I worked.

So I had none of the fears of mothers who leave their children with caretakers outside their families.  Of course I missed my son, and felt some guilt about not being home, but I also knew that this was the right arrangement for us, for a number of reasons:

My husband is an incredible father, and I knew that this time would forge a bond between them.  I liked my job, and feared that I would sink into a depression if I were to stay home.  My husband relished the challenge, and I loved the idea of our son having a model for a male caregiver.  It made financial sense.  My employer was remarkably flexible, allowing me to take time off in the down time, and giving me no grief at all about pumping at work.

My husband and son were regulars at all the town mommy groups.  He called up moms so regularly to set up playdates that one of them called him a "park slut."  He could talk milk storage, cloth diapers, and homemade babyfood with the best of them.  It was a challenging, joyful, frustrating, wonderful time for the two of them, and I know that we wouldn't have done it any differently.

After that year we both began working part time, and continue to share the care of our son when he's not in school.  The schedule keeps changing as our lives change, but it all seems to work out.

I think about that Cathy cartoon a lot.  Not because it resonated with me, but because I know that it does for many other women.  I think that at the heart of the "Mommy Wars" is a simple lack of understanding - and compassion - for the fact that what works for some doesn't work for others.  We all struggle with the same questions, and the solutions we find are naturally different.  Perhaps more importantly, these conflicts distract our attention from the larger societal problems that constrain all of us - like our abysmally short and unpaid maternity leave, and the undervaluing of the work of caring for children.  Like the mom in the Cathy cartoon, we all struggle with how to be mothers, and each of us has to find our own way.

So, for some other great perspectives on what it's like to leave your baby in the care of another (or at least try to!), check out these posts from our contributors this month:

• Jessica at Hepatitis Epi writes about "Letting Go."
• Rebekah at Momma's Angel writes about "Letting Others Love Her."
• Amy at Musings of a Crunchy Domestic Goddess writes about "Leaving Ava for the First Time."
• Sinead at Breastfeeding Mums contribues "Can't, Shan't, Won't...but Must!"
• Laura at The Joyful Mom writes about weaning in her entry "Help my Heart."
• Angela at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 writes about "Alternatives to Babysitters for the Breastfeeding Family."
• Colleen at My Baby and More shares a poem about trusting your instincts as a mother.
• Andi at Mama Knows Breast writes about learning her work and parenthood limits.

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Join our next breastfeeding carnival: Learning to let go.

It feels like the beginning of the end of summer these days.  That got some of us breastfeeding bloggers thinking about the beginning of the school year, which then led us to think about what it's like to have someone else care for our babies.   

So, August's theme will be “Learning to Let Go.”  We’re seeking submissions on breastfeeding and letting other people care for your nursling, be it the baby’s father, relative, babysitter or day care provider.

As always, we're looking for:

• Posts that are well written and grammatically correct
• Posts that are thoughtful and on topic
• Posts from blogs that are on topics that are of interest to readers of breastfeeding blogs (parenting, breastfeeding, etc.)

Submissions are due by August 14th, and can be emailed to me.  You can see examples of past carnival posts under the category "Carnivals of Breastfeeding." 

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