The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog

"Why I nurse at the mall...and at Mass."

Today I'm happy to share a guest post from Kate, a blogger and mother of two living in Georgia.  To the left is a 'nursing mom's eye view" of her daughter Rachel Marie.

When this piece was published on InsideCatholic.com, it got a pretty mixed response, and broke the record for comments on a post by a woman writer on that site! 

Please share what you think!  Do you nurse at your house of worship?

I'm a nursing mom and I'm not shy about it.  Being the mother of two milk mongers, as well as someone who embraces ecological breastfeeding as part of natural family planning, I have no problem feeding my children in public.  I'm a lot like Sam-I-Am's friend:  I'll nurse (discreetly) on a boat, with a goat (at a petting zoo), on a train or a plane, and a few places Dr. Seuss didn't think of.

In my family, we're movers and shakers and I'm not going to let the fact that I breastfeed keep us in when we'd rather be out.  Nor am I going to sequester my baby and me in a public bathroom when she's hungry and needs to eat.

But there's one place where I was reluctant to breastfeed.

With my first child, the idea of nursing at church made me uneasy and I felt about as modest as a Playboy centerfold.  I just couldn't get myself to do it.  Not surprisingly, Mass wasn't a very peaceful experience for me in those early months when my daughter Madeline was eating every couple of hours (or less in the case of my firstborn, who expected access to fast food 24 hours a day, give or take). Planning around her feedings was next to impossible.  Even as she grew older, she refused to take a pacifier and sought comfort at my breast frequently throughout the day.

So every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation and regular, old day I needed a taste of Jesus, I found myself in a pickle.  I didn't want to miss out on Mass, but I didn't feel that breastfeeding was something I should do at church.  What was a nursing mommy to do?

Thankfully, the Big Guy decided to help me out.  When Madeline was little over a year old, I was attending a church event when I noticed a woman nursing her toddler right there in the pew in front of me.  She was also the mother of the nine older children who filled th pew beside her.  As a newbie mom, I couldn't keep my eyes off this veteran.  I only pray she saw my look of admiration and didn't have me pegged as a boobophobe.  Actually, I don't think she noticed me or anything else other than her child and God.  This mom wowed me -- the way she was able to discreetly and comfortably feed her child and be present -- not just physically bit emotionally and spiritually present -- at the prayerful event.

When it came time for us to quietly pray, she shifted her child's position and knelt just like the rest of us with his body cradled against her own.  To me, there was nothing more beautiful than seeing this nursing mother provide nourishment to her little one with her own body in God's company.

This was an ah-ha moment for me.  I realized that if, as I strongly believed, nursing was a part of God's plan for helping mothers bond with their babies and a way of using my body the way He designed it to be used, then of all places, I should feel comfortable breastfeeding my children in God's home.  Christopher West, the Catholic author best known for his insightful commentary  on John Paul II's Theology of the Body, describes a nursing mother as "one of the most precious, most beautiful, and most holy of all possible images of woman."  So why should I feel ashamed nursing in church -- in the presence of the Most Holy Eucharist -- but not at the mall?  Do I believe that breasts are made to feed babies, or are they just meant to be squeezed into rhinestone-clad bras for surfers to ogle on the Internet?

Nowadays you'll find me nursing my baby at the mall, the library, the park, and at Mass.

As of yet, I've never heard any rude comments or noticed raised eyebrows or disgusted looks.  Really, I'm not sure if anyone other than fellow nursing moms can even tell I'm breastfeeding.  But if they can, I hope they will recognize this act for what it is -- an expression of love for my child.  And just as that loving mom of nine did for me, the image of me and my little nursling might inspire other moms to embrace breastfeeding without shame.

Reprinted with permission of InsideCatholic.com. 

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You never know.

We're moving today.  Our new house just a few miles away, but it feels like just as much work as when we moved across the country.  I'm going to be slow on email this weekend.

So things are a little crazy here at the moment, but I wanted to put up a post about something I've been thinking about a lot recently:

Whenever I see a baby being fed by bottle, I assume that the baby isn't breastfed.  It sparks a chain of questions about why the mother isn't breastfeeding:  Did she give it a try?  Did she hit a lot of problems and stop?  Was she under pressure from family not to breastfeed?  This goes on for a while in my head.

The other day I was talking to a mother who told me that her baby, now five months, is exclusively breastfed, "except for a few times when we were out in public and I just gave her a bottle of formula."  It occurred to me that if I saw her in public using a bottle I would have assumed that she wasn't breastfeeding.

Then I remembered being at a baby gathering at which I saw a mother give her baby a bottle.  I assumed that the bottle contained formula, and then realized that the bottle probably contained pumped milk.  This family had two moms, and the mother I saw was the non-birth mother, feeding her baby the birth mom's milk.

Then I thought of all of the mothers who exclusively pump.  This is going to sound strange, but I've seen so many different colors of breastmilk that I sometimes can't tell the difference between breastmilk and formula when it's in a bottle.  So some of those bottles I've seen may have contained breastmilk, too. 

So, is the moral "don't judge a breast by a bottle?"  What do you think?

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Massachusetts moms, please act now!

I'm a resident of Massachusetts, one of only three states that provides no legal protection for nursing in public.  There is some hope of that finally changing this year, but we need to act quickly.  Here's a notice put out by the Massachusetts Breastfeeding Coalition:

Massachusetts is one of only three states without any laws to protect a mother's right to breastfeed in public.  Senator Fargo's proposed bill 2438 is currently stuck in the House Ways and Means Committee and unless we can convince the Speaker of the House to move it out of committee immediately our chance of passing the bill this year.  Deadline is the end of July.

Speaker of the House

Salvatore F. Dimasi

State House

Room 356

State House

Boston MA 02133

On the back of the photo write "Another family for Senate Bill 2438!  Please send it to the floor for a vote!

That's it!  Any cute baby photo will do, whether it was taken two days ago or twenty years ago, and no, they don't have to be breastfeeding in the photo.  In fact, we'd rather they weren't.  If you do send a photo of your baby breastfeeding please make it discreet.  We want to flood these offices with pictures of cute babies, not breasts!

For those of you with the time and energy you get extra credit if you also send a photo/request to:

Chairman of the House Ways & Means Committee

Rep. Robert DeLeo

Room 243

State House

Boston, MA 02133

You may also email email Rep. DiMasi, Rep. DeLeo, or your own representative an embedded photo, but not an attachment.  Keep the photo size small. 

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Podcast: Jake Marcus on nursing in public and the law

Welcome to another Motherwear podcast!

This episode features an interview with Jake Marcus, J.D. on nursing in public and the law. 

Jake discusses the different types of breastfeeding laws, what to do if you're harassed for nursing in public, and where to get information on the law in your state.  We also discuss whether nursing mothers rooms are a convenience or a form of quarantine.  Jake recently wrote a comprehensive article in Mothering Magazine on this topic.  Mothering also produced a great pocket guide (pdf) on breastfeeding in public and breastfeeding and air travel.

You can listen to the podcast with the player below, download it to your iPod at the Motherwear iTunes store, or  download it to play on your computer with another player.

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Recent breastfeeding news.

Catching up on lots of breastfeeding in the news this week:

• Breastfeeding protects babies from breast cancer as adults, though not for first-born women.
• Breastfeeding reduces risk of mother developing rheumatoid arthritis by half
• Washington Post covers difficulties implementing D.C.'s new workplace pumping law
• Extended breastfeeding discussed on the BBC (video)
• FDA recalls Mommy's Bliss nipple cream
• Study finds breastfeeding increases intelligence scores
• Popular brand of organic formula is made with cane sugar, raising concerns (though breastmilk is barely mentioned)
• FDA announces a new system for rating the safety of medications during breastfeeding and pregnancy

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My favorite breastfeeding ad.

This is my current favorite breastfeeding ad.  It's from Scotland, where breastfeeding rates were among the lowest in Western Europe until the early 1990's.  In 1990 only 50% of mothers initiated breastfeeding.  But thanks to a multidisciplinary effort which has included the establishment of many Baby Friendly hospitals, ads such as this one, and community breastfeeding support resources, Scotland now has the fastest growing breastfeeding rate in the U.K.

I think this ad is quite effective.  It clearly sends a message that nursing in public is not a big deal.  No one seems to notice or care that the mother is feeding her baby.  It even gives you the impression the camera is having trouble finding the mother.  It conveys a strong message about the importance of breastfeeding to the health of mothers and children.  And it draws you in in a subtle but strong way.

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Check our our new iTunes store!

When I tell people that I run this blog they always assume that I'm technologically savvy.  I'm really not.  I know no HTML and almost nothing about Photoshop.  The fact that I can do this is just a testament to how easy blogging software has become.

So, it took me quite a while to do it, but I finally set up an iTunes store for the Motherwear Podcasts, and I've been patting myself on the back ever since.

If you use iTunes (which you can download for free), check out the new Motherwear iTunes store.  You can download all of the podcasts to your iPod or other mp3 player for free, and you can also subscribe to the podcast feed so you'll never miss an episode!  The little icon to the left on the sidebar will also take you there.

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Vermont Human Rights Commission finds that airline violated the law when forcing mother off plane.

Most of you probably recall the case of Emily Gillette (shown to the right), the New Mexico mother who was forced off of a Freedom Airlines plane in 2006 because she refused to cover up or stop breastfeeding.  The incident occurred in Vermont, a state which protects nursing mothers' rights to breastfeed in public places.  The case sparked the first nationwide nurse-in at Delta ticket counters.

The Vermont Human Rights Commission ruled this week that Freedom Airlines discriminated against Gillette.  The parties now have six months in which to reach a settlement agreement.  Though the flight Gillette was taking was a code-share between Delta Airlines and Freedom Airlines, the Commission did not charge Delta with discrimination. 

The Burlington Free Press reports:

"We are delighted that the commission found against Freedom," said Beth Boepple, a Manchester-based attorney who represents Gillette. "We're disappointed in the decision regarding Delta, but we understand why the commission arrived at that decision, even though we don't necessarily agree."

Freedom and Gillette have six months to negotiate a settlement. Boepple said Gillette's goal is to see airline policy put into place that protects other women from similar events; a written policy put into place that trains and educates employees; and to receive monetary compensation to at least cover legal and travel costs.

A ruling against Delta obviously would have had more far-reaching implications, but this news is still a positive step and may make other airlines take the issue seriously.

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Can you guess which state doesn't protect breastfeeding in public?

There have been four incidents in the news recently regarding nursing in public, one each in New York, Florida, Texas, and Massachusetts.  Three of the four states have statutes protecting nursing in public.  See if you can guess which one does not.

In Florida a mother was told to stop breastfeeding at her older child's school.  

Outcome: The school's principal "later looked into Florida law on breast-feeding, and found he was off-base... He has since told staff members that breast-feeding is allowed at school."

In New York, a mother visiting a museum stopped to nurse her baby - under three blankets.  She was told to move to a bathroom or leave.  Area mothers later held a group show of support for the mother.

Outcome:  The museum director stated "the museum has no such policy prohibiting breastfeeding anywhere."  He believes that the person involved was not a museum staff member, and stated “We know that our staff is well aware about rule, regulations, about rights to breast feed anywhere.”

In Texas (video is worth watching), a mother getting her haircut at a salon was told that she couldn't breastfeed her child.  There were no other customers in the salon at the time, and the mother was had tried to nurse under a shawl and the salon's smock.  She left with her hair half-cut.  

Outcome:  The salon chain issued this statement: "We welcome mothers and children.  We do not have a policy against breastfeeding. This employee acted incorrectly."

In Massachusetts, a mother eating with her family at a restaurant was told she couldn't breastfeed in an adjoining empty banquet hall.  She asked if she could have a private space to nurse, and was told no by the manager. 

Outcome:  Restaurant management stated that they never heard her mention breastfeeding.  A waitress stated that the mother was told she could nurse in the banquet hall, but not eat there.

 

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Motherwear Podcast: Heather Cushman-Dowdee, creator of Hathor the Cowgoddess.

Welcome to another Motherwear Podcast!  My guest for this recording is Heather Cushman-Dowdee, creator of Hathor the Cowgoddess, shown to the left nursing and drawing in her kitchen.

This was a very fun interview.  I got to ask Heather about how she draws, the inspiration for Hathor, and the time she baked breastmilk bread with 150 college students.  Bonus knock-knock joke at the end!

This one is a bit long, but I just couldn't bear to edit it down more.  It was such a fun and interesting conversation.

You can listen right here using the player below, or download it.

Heather's new book, Hathor's Zines, Slings, and Do-it-Yourself Things, (cover to the left) is now available for pre-order!

Be sure to check out a few past posts featuring Hathor:

The Zoops (video)
Hathor on covering up to nurse in public
Hathor on Applebee's breastfeeding policy

And more podcasts are here.

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